I’ve developed a bad habit. While I used to tell myself stories to fall asleep, lately I’ve found it’s easier to listen. Maybe it’s not such a bad thing, since I’m usually out in 15 minutes or less. Sometimes I listen to dry history books. Right now, though, I’m listening to old time radio shows from the 1950’s.
This has worked well, except for the time I woke up to the sound of thugs breaking into a house.
My current favorite show is Richard Diamond, Private Detective, which ran from 1949 to 1953 before transitioning to television. The radio show starred Dick Powell as Diamond, a former New York cop who decided to go into private practice. I’m not sure it’s ever explained why he left the force, but given his lack of professionalism, I think we can guess.
Diamond is no Joe Friday.
In a market cluttered with private eyes (or shamuses as they’re often called on this show), each one had to be distinct. Diamond is something of a wiseacre, always answering his phone with some nonsense like, “Atlantic Bone & Fertilizer,” or using bad puns in front of distressed clients and sighing to himself when they’re too distracted to appreciate them. Or, if they’re female and cute, shamelessly flirting even though he has a steady girlfriend, Helen Asher, who loves tolerating him.
And loves hearing him play her piano and sing (not a euphemism) even more.
Diamond charges $100 a day plus expenses, almost always gets knocked unconscious in the course of his investigation, and isn’t above playing dumb to get information. In “The Van Dyke Seance Case,” he’s joined by Helen and they pretend to be guileless hicks with Helen answering any and all questions with, “Howdy!” Some of the cases are serious, some absurd, and, while Diamond can be as hardboiled as any other shamus, he never loses his sense of humor.
He’s good, and the cops can’t get by without him.
Some of his cases are consulting gigs, when his old partner Lt. Levinson calls him in for assistance. But first Diamond has to get past Levinson’s idiot sergeant, Otis, who doesn’t like Diamond, even though he never quite understands the insults Diamond glibly sends his way. But even then, there’s a sort of mutual respect. The cast of recurring characters is small, but vibrant.
If any of the old pop-culture staples should be revived, it’s Richard Diamond.
As long as they keep him just as he is.
Diamond should remain the untarnished, flawless, happy-go-lucky tough guy he was on the radio.