As much I hate paying for streaming services when I have most anything I want to watch on disc, one benefit around the holidays are the curated lists. Just want to watch some classic Christmas TV episodes? They’ve got them all sorted out for you. The other night I scrolled through the holiday collection on Paramount+ and saw a suggestion for an episode of The Twilight Zone that, while not usually considered a Christmas episode, qualifies.

And I’d never seen it before.

“The Changing of the Guard” stars an unrecognizable Donald Pleasence as Prof. Ellias Fowler, a stern instructor at a school for boys. His focus, English literature. In the classroom he’s sarcastic and belittles the boys in a way that wouldn’t fly nowadays. But behind closed doors, he expresses real affection for the young lads, and though he’s been at the institution for 51 years, he hopes to keep teaching for another 51. His hopes are shattered when he realizes, just before the Christmas break, that’s he’s being forced into retirement.

Merry Christmas indeed.

Distraught, he questions what, if any, good he’s done. Over the many years, some of his graduates went on to die in war. “I gave them nothing,” he tells his housekeeper. “Now, where do you suppose I ever got the idea that I was accomplishing anything?” After dismissing her for the evening and promising to lay down for nap, but instead he walks out into the snowy night with his gun. His intentions are clear.

But The Twilight Zone has other plans.

Standing before a statue on campus, the symbol of all his purpose in life, Fowler prepares to do the unthinkable. And then the bells begin to chime. Confused, he goes inside, to his classroom, to see what is going on. There he’s met by the ghosts of his former students, young men who had the courage to sacrifice themselves. Some died in battle, others in the pursuit of live-saving science. One by one they share the virtues he instilled in them in the classroom.

Fowler accomplished much.

It’s worth noting that it wasn’t Fowler’s own words or opinions that made the difference. All he did was share with them the wisdom of the ages, the words of great poets written to inspire, and explained what they meant. Today, when vices are held up as virtues and strength (masculine, heroic strength) is called toxic, one wonders if there are any teachers like him left. And without them, what will become of the young men who go out into the world?

We all have the capacity to inspire.

Christmas is the most inspirational time of year, when we celebrate God coming to earth to offer us salvation and to follow in His footsteps doing good works, which He prepared for us beforehand. We don’t have to stand in front of a classroom to make a difference. All we need to do to accomplish something is, like Fowler, share the truth.

I find it interesting that while A Christmas Story is often criticized for having no plot, National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation is not. After watching both movies yesterday, I’m not sure how one could argue that one has more of a plot than the other. While I will resist arguing that one movie is superior, I have my preference, which will probably become apparent as we go. 

Please don’t shoot my eye out.

A Christmas Story and Christmas Vacation were released just six years apart (1983 and 1986, respectively) yet because of the setting they feel as though they’re from totally different eras. The first is set in 1940, with its radio shows, Ovaltine, and coal furnaces. FDR was still president, and the memory of The Great Depression loomed large. Christmas Vacation, of course, takes place in its present day of the Reagan economic boom, with yuppies, CD players, overconsumption, and corporate culture.

“Whatever you got last year add… 20%”

While the theme of both films is the same, family dynamics at Christmastime, the protagonists are different. Ralphie is a kid, trying to navigate in an adult world so that he can get what he wants. He knows he can’t buy himself that Red Ryder BB gun, so he needs to persuade his parents, teacher, and Santa himself, to recognize the validity of his logical argument. But at every turn it’s thrown back in his face that he’s not yet ready for the world of grownups. He can’t even help his old man change a flat tire without messing up.

“Oh fuuuuudddgeee!” 

Conversely, Clark Griswold is an adult who acts like a child, and wants to reexperience childlike holiday wonder. On an intellectual level, he knows the real spirit of Christmas is being with family. But he craves the perfect experience and believes that can be facilitated through a brightly lit house, the best Christmas tree, and the promise of a gift he can’t afford. For all his desire to slip back into childhood (and his natural childishness), he’s still an adult with money troubles and the expectation that the adults around him act like adults.

“Worse! How could things get any worse? Take a look around here, Ellen. We’re at the threshold of hell.”

We’ve all been in Ralphie’s boots. Maybe we still are. And to some degree, any adult can relate to Clark’s plight. That’s perhaps part of the reason why their stories have become annual favorites for many. Like most comedies, they’re a series of moments with just the faintest hint of a throughline that leads to a climax of catharsis. Christmas Vacation is more absurd, and that won’t be to everyone’s taste, but maybe it needs that for cross-generational appeal. Ultimately, Ralphie’s story is the more mature.

“Oh, life is like that. Sometimes, at the height of our revelries, when our joy is at is zenith, when all is most right with the world, the most unthinkable disasters descend upon us.”

When I first encountered A Christmas Story as a kid, I found it distasteful and it was a long time before I could bring myself to give it a second chance. Now I see it as wonderful means of recapturing the innocence of youth, balanced with the hard earned wisdom of life. There’s little wisdom to be gleaned from Christmas Vacation, and that’s fine. Sometimes you just want to see Chevy Chase smacked in the face and chuckle at some unfiltered profanity.

“You shouldn’t use that word.”

Something happened when Trump got elected, the significance of which I’m not sure we’ll fully grasp or be able to articulate until much time has passed. I’ve seen a few people try to get their arms around it, I’ve tried myself and will attempt to express some of what we’re feeling here, but such things are impossible to understand until they’ve passed.

Still, we have to try.

When Donald Trump won in a landslide victory it let millions of people know that they weren’t alone and don’t have to be ashamed. Even professional athletes were cowed and now they aren’t. Football players doing the Trump dance in the endzone isn’t political so much as cultural. Before he was a political figure, Trump was in pop culture, and now he exists in both worlds once again. Forget his policies for a moment and do his silly dance.

It’s okay.

This attitude is moving beyond Trump and political affiliation. Hollywood is befuddled (what a great word) that they can’t shame audiences into celebrating their movies. Was anyone ever shamed into saying they liked something? I don’t know. But if they keep trying, the backlash will destroy their industry, if it hasn’t already. The news networks are suffering, too. Not just because the legacy media has proven itself untrustworthy, but because we heard everything they have to say already. I’ll bet even the right wing outlets like the Daily Wire are hurting too.

We’re ready to tell the people arguing petty things to, “Get a life.” 

But it’s even bigger than all that. I think it was Robert Meyer Burnett who said, “Authenticity is the currency of this generation.” And while I disagree with much of what he says, here he’s exactly right. Trump, love him or hate him, is authentic. Harris was faker than a three dollar bill. The Star Wars that Disney is serving up isn’t Star Wars in spirit. The news commentators never had our best interests in mind and we can see that now.

So we reject the counterfeits.

Now that the news matters less than ever, since it’s just a reboot or rerun, and the entertainment industry has a backlog of “content” no one wants that they still have to push out, now that people are finding their voices, everything has changed. Those who can seize the moment and get their fresh, new, authentic stories out will find success. We don’t want our desire for drama filled by the left or the right anymore. We crave culture, something we haven’t enjoyed in about twenty years. 

It’s not about Trump. It was never about Trump. It’s about authenticity.