I don’t know what they’re spiking the eggnog with over at Hallmark, but some of their new Christmas movies are breaking all the rules.

There are two ways to be subversive in storytelling. One way is to flat out lie to the audience. For example, there’s the trend of claiming that all white men are bad and have always been bad, or that all Christians are bad and have always been bad. These stories take us down the long established garden path, only to hit us over the head with a shovel to make a point. That’s not the reality we’ve ever known, but the story says it’s so.

It’s so tiresome.

The other way to be subversive is take a familiar formula and do something fresh and new with it. No one is attacked, or tricked, or talked down to. These stories remain true to the premise that the audience expects, but offers it in a unique way. No lies about reality required. Is there anything more formulaic than a Hallmark Christmas movie? Not really. Is there anything wrong with watching the same movie over and over again if it comforts and entertains us? Not at all.

But have you ever noticed how different the road looks on the way home, compared to the way there?

Our Holiday Story is like that. When Chris arrives at his new girlfriend’s house for Christmas before she does, he makes the mistake of asking her dad and step-mom, Dave and Nell, how they met. Their story is the primary focus, so it’s already established that they’ll get together. As if there would otherwise be any doubt (Hello, Hallmark Christmas movie!). Yet by drawing inspiration from the holiday classic The Shop Around the Corner we get to enjoy watching the characters squirm while they navigate the choppy waters of mid-life romance.

Bonus points for incorporating 2010’s technology in clever and organic ways.

Besides being formulaic, the other thing about these movies is that they’re wish-fulfillment fantasies for women. Santa Tell Me leans into that really, really hard, to the brink of self-parody. Olivia is the host of her own home reno show, and if that’s not the secret wish of many women, I don’t know what is. But her new Christmas special is turning out to be a big headache as she is forced to work with Chris, the director and producer of a rival program everyone hates (including Chris).

Naturally, they clash from the get-go

Just to raise the stakes, it’s decided that she’ll renovate her childhood home. Hidden in a heating vent is a letter to Santa she wrote as a little girl, which magically turns into a response promising her that she’ll meet Nick, the love of her life, by Christmas Eve. The next day she meets Nick A., Nick B., and Nick C. in alphabetical order (of course), and they’re all absurdly good looking and accomplished (of course). A is neurosurgeon who has saved lives all over the world. B. is a hunky carpenter. And C is a firefighter and calendar model. 

What’s a girl to do?

Well, despite three first dates that result in her sending all three suitors to the ER, she keeps going out with them after work. Santa sends the occasional update with cryptic clues and nudges, but we all know she’s going to end up with Chris (not just because both actors played lovers on When Calls the Heart). While it whimsically rides the line of too much, the movie never becomes insincere. We want Olivia to be happy and fulfilled. But we also have to admit that she’s kind of being a terrible person. When the three Nicks finally meet and start clobbering each other with squeaky candy canes on live TV, the ruse is up.

They call her out for leading them on. 

So there’s wish-fulfillment, but also consequences for bad actions. Everything absurd about this genre is dialed up to eleven, but we’re invited to be in on the joke and never laughed at for loving it. And the characters are endearing, warts and all. We already knew how it would end, but that’s okay. A story is like a dance, and when we know most of the steps we can move along with it and enjoy the variations. 

Want to tell subversive stories? Find creative ways to play with the form and leave the function (showing reality) alone. 

Anymore, it’s rare for me to get so pulled into a book that I forget to check social media. Just watching a movie is enough of a struggle, so for me to sit and read for hours is downright remarkable. But recently I was privileged to get my hands on an advance reading copy of Tenure by Blaine Pardoe and Mike Baron, and it turned out to be one of those rare experiences.

“Gripping” is an overused word on cover blurbs. This time, it’s appropriate.

This isn’t a book for everyone, as will become clearly apparent. It’s the story of Braxton Knox, an average guy who could be your neighbor. After an unremarkable stint in the military, he started a small family and found work as a philosophy professor at a school in Portland. He has an idea for a novel that he’ll probably never start, but only because he’s busy enjoying his simple, quiet, academic life.

Until he uses the wrong pronoun in the classroom.

A they/them student objects to being called “miss” so strongly that she torpedoes Knox’s academic career. Of course, she feels justified, seeing as he’s part of the patriarchy. When Knox refuses to apologize the university moves to fire him and the local ANTIFA mob targets his family with devastating results. What’s a man to do when he has nothing left to lose? He can curl up and die. He can try to work within the corrupt justice system.

Or he can extract pure justice.

Being the bigger bad guy comes at a cost, and Tenure doesn’t shy away from that. Knox doesn’t want to become a ruthless vigilante. Just, you know, an ethical vigilante with a personal vendetta. Pardoe and Baron make sure that he never loses his humanity or becomes psychotic, even as they allow him to justify some truly cold-blooded killings. Not that we’re inclined to quibble, as his targets are so brainwashed in their evil ideology that they’re beyond redemption and will only continue ruining and taking lives.

And taking a life is something that should never be done lightly.

We love a good revenge story. From The Count of Monte Cristo, to The Terminal List, to John Wick, there’s something cathartic in watching the villains get their due. What sets Tenure apart is that it feels like something that could happen in our own backyards. I’ve heard this book pitched as The Punisher vs the Woke, but if anything it’s Death Wish in suburbs. I almost wish it was more like a comic book and not so grounded in uncomfortable reality.

Not that Tenure is perfectly plausible.

Should this continue as a series, I could see Pardoe and Baron leaning into the story’s pulp influences and going bigger. If you still haven’t read The Spider VS. The Empire State, I highly encourage you to do so. By modern standards it’s wildly implausible, building to an epic crescendo. But both novels feature heroes gathering allies to fight against the human embodiment of the threats of their day. Even if that means going around the law, or the law turning a blind eye to their activities. 

And the groundwork has been laid.

Without getting into major spoilers, by the end Knox has a major financial warchest and a mysterious benefactor. If they want to, the authors could slowly raise the stakes until, like The Spider, Knox is leading a major war on US soil. If not, should they hold closer to reality, that’s fine too. There’s enough variety in the action and themes in this story to prove that they have no shortage of ideas to explore with other victims of the woke mob in other cities. 

However…

Unlike Andrew Klavan’s A Woman Underground, which deals in similar themes but in a more literary manner, Tenure won’t be as timeless. Like The Spider, in a few years it will be a dated pulp adventure, though still wildly entertaining. It will never not be entertaining indulging in a revenge fantasy where the wronged man gets payback. So don’t hesitate to add this to your library. It’s something I’ll definitely want to read again. 

Love it or hate it, the 2024 election was historic. Never in our lifetime have we had a president who was voted out of office come back for a second term. Never in history has a US presidential candidate faced such insurmountable odds, brutal attacks, if not near assassination, and won so decisively. Not only that, Republicans also held the House and took control of the Senate.

Trump is coming in strong.

It’s over.

For now.

It’s important to remember that these political victories are always short-lived. There’s every reason to think that things will swing the other way in two years, and even further two years after that. But for now, we have reprieve. Let Trump be Trump and those around him do their thing in the background and focus on making the most of this moment.

Turn off the noise.

After Inauguration Day, is there really any reason to pay attention to political commentary? Even for entertainment purposes, we just lived through Avengers: Endgame and politics is going to be comparatively boring until the next reboot. The screeching on The View and the late night shows? Doesn’t matter. The fearmongering alternated with crowing from The Daily Wire and other Conservative outlets? It’s all so much noise.

Politics matters less than culture.

Look, we’re all exhausted. I get that. We can and should breathe easier and relax, rather than trying to maintain that four alarm high because we’ve grown used to it. So the first thing we need to do is refresh ourselves with things that we love. Read books and watch movies grounded in reality, where men are men, women are women, evil is punished or tragically allowed to succeed because of the inaction of others. 

Anything made for a “modern audience” can be ignored.

When we’re ready, we need to create. Politics hitched its wagon to Hollywood, and they’re both going down together. Audiences are only drawn to lies for a short time because sometimes those lies are novel and appealing. In the end, we always desire reality. Now is the time to create and build your own audience while the establishment is crumbling. AI and crowdfunding, the way people want to consume their entertainment, have all changed the creative landscape.

Just tell timeless and true stories and you’ll be just fine.

Finally, we need to have fun surfing this red wave. For too long we’ve been a culture fixated on death. Don’t start a family because of global warming. Shout your abortion. Hide in your house with a mask on so you don’t die or kill your grandma. Watch this movie about the post-apocalypse. Be depressed, take the antidepressants, and numb yourself.

NO!

Now is the time to celebrate life and being alive. We need to celebrate life in our stories, however we tell them. We need to create beautiful things and relationships. Want to make America great and healthy again? Restore her spirit and zest (what a wonderful word, zest!) for life. Show your joy and people will be drawn to you and your beliefs. Politics is but for a moment. Culture inspires for centuries. So we must build a culture of joyful lives, celebrating truth and beauty. 

And maybe we’ll have a wave we can ride for generations.