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Humor, Romance, and Magical Cats
June 04, 2024
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“The writer’s job is to tell the truth.” - Ernest Hemingway

It’s not just writers, of course, but all storytellers who must work in truth (unless you write for CNN). We can shape it, mold it, stretch it to its very limits. But ultimately, if what we’re saying is in total opposition to reality our audience will largely reject it. Why aren’t people going to the movies anymore? Because the industry has stooped to peddling lies. And because of that, their stories lack all sincerity.

Irony is out. They just haven’t noticed it yet.

I recently watched The Mummy (1999) and Van Helsing (2004), two movies from Stephen Sommers that came out before today’s current trends. Sure, they’re throwbacks to the 30s, with wipe transitions and direct homages to classic monster movies. But unlike the old Universal movies, they can still draw large audiences in rerelease today. I don’t think it’s just millennial nostalgia at play. Fantastic as the movies are, even with dated special effects, they’re still grounded in something familiar.

More familiar than our memories of the early 00s.

Sane, healthy, people (so the majority of us) grew up with some semblance of how the world works. It all goes back to good characters, and good characters express themselves through verbal and nonverbal reactions. We can imagine ourselves in completely unrealistic situations and think, “Yes, this is how I would react,” or, “I wish I had the courage to react like that.” So when the hero saves the girl and plants a big kiss on her we cheer. And when a woman saves a dude and they just touch foreheads we groan.

Society might tell us PDA is wrong and that girls can protect men. But that’s boooor-ring.

And what’s with all the snark?

Thrilling moments are regularly undercut with “humor” to suck all the joy out of the moment. We’ve all had that moment in a group conversation when everyone is laughing and someone makes a joke (witty, though it may be) that kills the mood. It’s too pointed or recontextualizes the moment in an unsavory light. Then everyone says, “Shut up!” and tries to recapture the moment.

Real humor isn’t contrived and we want it to stay.

It’s hilarious when Brendan Fraser uses a hissing cat to drive off Imhotep. Within the rules of the world it makes sense. Even if it hadn’t worked, well, he would’ve said it made sense at the time. The joke was set up and we get the payoff we didn’t know we wanted. And there’s a thrill in seeing our hero get a win over an unstoppable villain. If The Mummy were made today, I’m afraid the cat would hiss, nothing would happen (because it was just a random cat with no reason for him to grab it), and Fraser would toss the cat offscreen. Haha, don’t you know cats aren’t magic?

(Cats are totally magical creatures)

Or how about the scene in Van Helsing when Hugh Jackman’s hero has to risk turning completely into a werewolf to defeat Dracula? If Anna doesn’t get the cure to him in time he might kill the vampire and damn himself. They don’t have a moment to spare and say what may be their last goodbyes. As she’s about to leave he stops her and says, “Don’t be late.” It’s not a laugh-out-loud moment, but it is funny and something a guy in that situation might say. I’d want to say it.

Then he grabs her and they passionately kiss.

I’d want to do that too.

Then they and we go back to the adventure, still tasting that kiss. Anna doesn’t have a witty comeback to steal back the moment. Van Helsing doesn’t show any regret for having done it (because he did nothing wrong, “consent” be damned). Their romantic interest had been building all along and we longed for them to have that moment. And we got it.

Once you realize how romance and sincerity have been edited out of our movies, you can’t unsee it.

Now that you’ve read this far, watch the trailer for Venom: The Last Dance, which dropped yesterday. Once you get past the pre-trailer, it starts pretty good with a tense scene of Eddie cornered by a bunch of thugs. But we know something the bad guys don’t know. Eddie has an alien symbiote that gives him superpowers. We know they’re about to get thrashed. Tension builds.

And then there’s that stupid, stupid “We are Venom” joke.

Oh, yeah, that’s right. We’re watching a movie. It’s a joke with no setup. All it does (and the reason why it’s mildly amusing) is that it momentarily subverts our expectations. There’s nothing wrong with a bit of humor in a moment like this. But unlike the cat in The Mummy, it takes us out of the moment. It’s inorganic. It’s insincere. 

The trailer for The Mummy made me feel like I was going to go on an adventure, which is a big promise to make. And the movie lives up to it. The trailer for Venom: The Last Dance? It didn’t make me feel anything. I'll bet it delivers nothing, too. One is a story. One is content. I know which movie I’ll watch again, and which one I’ll likely never watch. I know which movie will still be watched 25 years from now, and know which one will be forgotten.

Consume and create rewatchable stories. Sincere stories. 

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Transformers One and The Wild Robot: A Battle of Myths

In case you haven’t been paying attention, right now Hollywood loves robots. We’ve got a steady stream of robot horror, robot romance, and robot movies for kids. Maybe it’s tied to growing interest in AI, as the robot is a physical manifestation of such an ephemeral thing. I suspect this will be a point of discussion for years to come. But for whatever reason, we’ve got robots.

So many robots.

Transformers One, based on the toy commercials disguised as 80s TV shows, didn’t get much love at the box office. Yet I haven’t heard a bad thing from anyone who’s seen it. While I’ve never gotten into the franchise, the trailers gave me some hope that it wouldn’t just be content. And it's not! Honestly, I was impressed. It’s an origin story for Optimus Prime and Megatron, so there are no humans this time around. 

Just a planet full of robots.

Yet because the story is so unapologetically mythic, I found it inspiring. It’s Cain and Abel, Zeus and Chronos, and Braveheart for kids. The character development is so subtle I hardly noticed it, and the tone of the film changes so gradually from small stakes fun to deadly serious that frankly I'm in awe of the deft storytelling. By the end, I felt like I’d gone on a long journey with these characters.

Not like I’d sat through a long ad for Happy Meal toys.

Then there’s The Wild Robot, a commercial and critical darling that’s winning all sorts of awards recognition. It’s… fine. Visually, it’s gorgeous. The voice acting is perfect and the music is great. But the story, about a robot who crash lands in the wilderness and must raise an orphaned gosling, left me cold. If Transformers One wants us up on our feet cheering, The Wild Robot wants us feeling warm fuzzies.

Not there’s anything wrong with that.

However, with Transformers it was organic to the story. Everything about those characters, in that world, had to be epic. And the effect of the epic is awe and inspiration. The Wild Robot feels contrived to manipulate those heartstrings. Nothing about the story has to do that. It wants to. But the bigger problem for me is that it leans into a new mythology, whereas Transformers retells something ancient.

The Wild Robot is about found family and overcoming your programing.

Transformers One is about following a code and fulfilling your potential.

More than than that, The Wild Robot presents the audience, children, with a childish world. At first it hints at life’s harsh realities. The pain of death. The kill or be killed laws of nature. The pain of saying goodbye. But by the end, Roz the robot has taught everyone to be nice and get along, so that a bear can be buddies with his prey. We won’t see the lion laying down with the lamb in this world, I’m sorry. (Also, Tolkien would’ve hated technology improving on nature). Transformers One, however, leaves us with the knowledge that there is evil in the world, predators who will always feed off of their own ambition, and that we must fight against them.

The old myth will always trump the new, because one has been confirmed by time.

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Will AI Replace the Writers?

When it comes to human technological advancement, artificial intelligence (AI) will probably be looked on as significant as the printing press. Whether you love it, hate it, are anxious, or ambivalent about it, nothing short of a Tower of Babel act of God is going to make AI disappear. It will likely change in some way everything we do, and, at the rate things are going, very soon if it hasn’t already.

But if we’re good at one thing, it’s adapting.

For the sake of brevity, I’m not going to spend any time trying to define what AI is. Rather, I want to discuss what it can do. More importantly, I want to talk about what it can’t do, and I have a perspective that I have yet to hear anyone mention. Full disclosure, I like AI and use it several times a day for getting information. Gone are the days of keyword searches and sifting through results.

Now I can just ask a question like I’m talking to a person and get an answer.

It’s great!

However, in the very near future AI will be able to do more. Much, much more. We’ll be able to ask an AI to make a movie with certain plot elements and actors, done in a particular style, and have it. We’ll be able to ask for a new novel from our favorite author and have a custom made original work. It’s not there yet (I think several movie scripts have been written by AI with little oversight and the results have been dismal), but we’ll get there.

So as a creative, I have to ask if I’ll still be relevant. 

Well, in short, yes. Because the people who anticipate or fear AI taking over creative spaces are overlooking the fact that us humans, created in the image of God, are more than just physical parts and chemical reactions. Every so often you hear about someone receiving a donated organ and developing a character trait of the donor. There are many questions about surrogate pregnancies, where the DNA comes from the parents, but how the baby, who has grown in the womb of another woman and grown accustomed to her voice, will do when suddenly separated from her.

When we create, do we put something spiritual, something of ourselves, into the work?

I think so.

One of the nice things about being in the indie author space is getting to read books written by my friends. Not friends in the parasocial, “I feel like I know him through his work,” sense, but people I’ve actually met in person or through long interactions online. And when I read their work, even if it’s fiction, I get the feeling that I’m spending time with them. While it’s not the same experience as receiving a personal letter, as these stories are written for everyone, I still know deep down that I’m looking into the depths of their hearts.

AI can’t replicate that.

There’s more to writing than word choice and the length of a sentence. Sure, AI will be able to spit out a novel without any adverbs and lots of short, punchy dialog and call it Hemingway. And, because we never met the guy, we may find a surface level satisfaction from reading it. But it will never be Hemingway. We need to remember that. More importantly, as AI becomes ubiquitous and customized novels become easily accessible, we need to know our authors.

Storytelling is communal, not commercial.

Get online and find a self-published novel you like. Then reach out to the author on social media. I promise you, with rare exceptions, they’re there. If you know writers, read their work and share it with your friends. AI is an incredible tool that will facilitate the telling of many great stories in new mediums. But if we allow it replace human interaction, we’re doomed.

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Spoiler Review - Flight Risk (2025)

Out of the theater reaction video:

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Last year I only made it to the movie theater a couple times. The year before that I only made it once. The main problem is that movies are so darn long! With only four hours to myself most days, an epic has to fall in the sweet spot that fits my limited time. So this Saturday, when I realized Mel Gibson’s latest directorial effort was only 90 minutes, I had to go.

Even if the reviews were so-so and I wasn’t super interested.

There will be spoilers.

While Mark Wahlberg receives top billing, Flight Risk really belongs to Topher Grace and Michelle Dockery. Grace plays Winston, a former mob bookkeeper hiding out in Alaska, who is being flown back to civilization to testify. As you’d expect from the That ‘70s Show Alum, Grace plays Winston as a nervous talker with an obnoxious sense of humor. You know who doesn’t have a sense of humor? US Marshal Madolyn Harris (Dockery). She has the unfortunate task of escorting him.

Very unfortunate.

Because the mob is everywhere. From the get-go, everyone gets an uneasy feeling about the pilot, Daryl (Wahlberg). As well we should, because he’s not the vetted pilot, but a mob hitman. For him, it’s not about the money, either. No. He just likes the game, the torture, the killing. And he’s willing to maim himself to accomplish his goals. Wahlberg plays with different accents, shaved his head, and says incredibly foul things in an unhinged performance.

And Gibson knows when to hold a shot to wring the last ounce of emotion out of his actors.

Things quickly go wrong on the flight, for everyone, and Daryl ends up tied up in the back. Which is good. Except neither Madolyn nor Winston knows how to fly. Which is bad. Using her sat phone, Madolyn is put in touch with Hasan (Maaz Ali), who shamelessly flirts with her as a distraction and to bring some much needed levity to film.

Because there’s a pervasive sense of danger.

Early in the flight, before Daryl is revealed to not be Daryl, the plane hits a bird, leaving a bloody smear across the windshield. That token of death remains throughout the film, the only bright spot in the drab cockpit. Anyone could die at any moment. This isn’t a franchise film. The guardrails of a potential sequel don’t exist. Had this movie been made in another era, our doubts of getting a happy resolution would only be heightened.

And I couldn’t help but think of 1985’s Runaway Train.

Both movies take place in the Alaskan wasteland. Both movies are set on vehicles that cannot stop and, left unimpeded, will crash. Both movies center around two desperate men and a woman who legitimately shouldn’t be there. And let’s just say, Runaway Train doesn’t have a happy ending. But it is satisfying, in its own way.

And Flight Risk is also satisfying.

I really appreciated that push and pull of the story. This isn’t a situation where our protagonists are always losing. Sometimes Daryl gets the upper hand, but when he’s put down, hard, we enjoy it. Every. Single. Time. It might be stupid, petty, or contrived. But in the moment I didn’t care. He had it coming to him.

Ultimately, Flight Risk isn’t a great movie. Certainly a lesser Gibson.

But if he was just looking for a practice run before getting back in the saddle, he proved he can still work on a small scale. The movie delivered exactly what it promised, no more and no less. I know most people aren’t impressed. Me? I enjoyed it for what it was. 

 

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