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Writing Lessons from Mars
April 03, 2024
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In the days leading up to seeing Dune Part 2 one might have thought I’d reread the second half of the book. 

Heck no!

Maybe someday I’ll work my way through that epic tome for a second time. I hear the audio version is good. But as I’ve said many times, Dune is no Lord of the Rings and I don’t care to immerse myself in that world very often. If you’ve never read Dune or watched the movies, it’s dense, heavy, stuff layered in meaning designed for parsing out. Herbert doesn’t preach in that first novel, though it was written to do more than simply entertain.

Sometimes, you just want sci-fi that’s fun.

So I went further back in time and read Llana of Gathol, one of Edgar Rice Burroughs’ John Carter stories. Often early science fiction (even the pulpier, American stories) are clumsy by contemporary standards. For example, I’ve read Julian Hawthorn’s The Cosmic Courtship from 1917, and while interesting, it’s more satisfying as an academic curiosity than fun reading. Llana of Gathol, published 24 years later, however, is as entertaining now as it ever was.

Maybe moreso.

After struggling to make ends meet as a rancher, miner, and pencil-sharper salesman, Burroughs decided to try his hand at writing pulp fiction. He figured “...if people were paid for writing rot such as I read in some of those magazines, that I could write stories just as rotten.” In his first story he introduced John Carter, which in my opinion is far from rotten, and the rest is literary history. Tarzan came later, along with many other characters, but the Warlord of Mars remains my favorite.

I think I’ve learned far more visiting Mars than Arrakis. 

Both are desert planets with warring factions. But unlike Herbert, Burroughs just can’t take any of it too seriously. Sure Mars is dying and probably won’t be able to sustain life for much longer. But as long as he’s there, John Carter will love the princess Deja Thoris, fight the various Martian armies, and rescue the imperiled. And why not? He’s literally the best at everything.

Aside from being a Confederate war hero, that’s why he’d never get written today.

Some might call him the male equivalent of a Mary Sue, but Burroughs doesn’t write him that way. The fact that he’s basically immortal and never encountered a fight he couldn’t win; that thanks to the lower gravity of Mars he’s a proto-Superman with incredible strength and the ability to leap tall buildings in a single bound, doesn’t mean he’s perfect. Carter sometimes makes tactical and moral missteps, and doesn’t take it for granted that he can’t be killed. 

He can’t be everywhere at once, and worries about his loved ones when they're apart.

There’s also the fact that Burroughs declined to write a backstory for Carter, who has no childhood memories. He simply is as he ever was, perpetually in his 30s and a skilled fighting man. Today every character gets an origin story, usually with some traumatic event, that gives him a reason for acting the way he does. Not so here. And frankly, I neither need nor want one for John Carter. 

So what have I learned?

Even the most overpowered character can maintain a sense of mystery and be interesting if he’s a man of action in an exotic land. Romantic desire (both for a woman and adventure) satisfies the soul, and the limitations of time and space can offer just enough conflict. While I probably won’t attempt writing a character like him for today’s market, I appreciate this example of heroic fiction in its purest form and will be sure to draw from it.

In other news…

John Carter may be making a return to popular culture. Disney gave up the movie rights after the (most excellent) film bombed, but JohnCarterIsComing.com suggests we haven’t seen the last of the immortal hero.

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If you'd like to buy the story and read ahead, it's available in the Fall 2020 issue of Cirsova, available here: https://amzn.to/3yRRywY

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Girl-Power Isn't the Problem: Stop Treating Movies Like TV Pilots

Last weekend I was able to sneak off the theater for a screening of From the World of John Wick: Ballerina. Did I feel silly, telling the high school girl at the ticket counter, “One for Ballerina, and a small drink”? Well, not in the moment. 

I probably drank a liter of cherry vanilla Coke Zero, and that didn’t feel so great.

Plenty of box office analysts and Hollywood types are wracking their brains, trying to figure out why movies like Furiosa and Ballerina aren’t drawing huge crowds. Mad Max and John Wick are popular franchises, but apparently telling the stories of the women in those worlds isn’t working. Even if the movies are pretty good.

I’ve seen both, and they’re pretty good.

Some are arguing that no one will go near a movie that looks like it’s feminist girl-bossing. Others counter that movies like Alien and Kill Bill are female-led action films that were successful. Now, I’m not going to say that Ballerina is on par with those modern day classics. But I will say that, as a man watching the movie, it didn’t offend me. The movie never challenged me to confront any internalized misogyny. The small girl doesn’t take down John Wick in hand-to-hand combat.

Honestly, if you like franchise, whether you’re male or female, you should watch Ballerina.

In short, from a purely cinematic experience perspective, neither Furiosa nor Ballerina would be any better or worse with a male lead. Maybe that’s a hot take. But that’s mine, for whatever it’s worth. Well, okay, I wouldn’t watch a movie called Ballerina if it stared a dude. Nevertheless, I think you get my point. Petite women warriors aside, the plots and action are exactly as expected.

So what’s the deal?

Well, what no one seems to have noticed is that Ripley and The Bride weren’t replacing anyone. As we were watching their movies for the first time, we weren’t thinking about other characters for whom we already had a preference. Movies are more like TV than TV right now, and replacement characters have always been a hard sell, regardless of gender. We all remember Sam and Diane. Who still talks about Sam and Rebecca (even though Kirstie Alley won an Emmy and a Golden Globe for the part)? I had to look up her name. 

No, they aren’t technically replacing them. It’s a spin-off, set in the same world.

Spin-offs tend to succeed when the characters are already well established (eg: Frasier). Furiosa and Ballerina are more like backdoor pilots, where new characters are dropped in for a single episode to sell us on the idea of a new show. This technique is very hit and miss on TV, and I can’t think of a single example of this working in a movie franchise. Film and television are very different mediums, and should be treated as such.

Still, if it doesn’t work on TV, it’s probably not gonna work at the movies. Not where new characters and spin-offs are concerned. 

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Going Back to 1995

Maybe I’m just getting old, but it doesn’t feel like we had the thriving and distinct pop culture of past generations. Has there been a look or stye, or feeling, that defines this moment? Everything seems to have stagnated for the last twenty years. And it’s not as if I don’t pay attention. 

It’s making me nostalgic. 

Consequently, for the rest of the year, I’m prioritizing movies from 1995, the year I was twelve. At that time, my family didn’t really go to the theater, and when we did rent VHS tapes, more often than it is was older Disney movies or entirely forgettable Christian titles. Now that I’ve grown tired of trying to keep up with new releases, not there’s much worth watching anyway, it feels like a good time to catch up on those 30 year old movies that have become ingrained in what’s left of our pop culture.

So over on Criticless, I made a list.

Some of these are movies I’ve seen before, but not in a long time. Others will be first time watches for me. There’s really no rhyme or reason to what I put on my list. It’s just movies that either interest me, or are currently in my collection, sadly unwatched. As things become available on streaming, I may add to the list. And if I don’t get to everything before the end of the year, no big deal.

Hopefully, they aren’t going anywhere. 

I’ll be posting some reviews and analysis as I go, so be sure to follow me here. 

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Ironheart and Superman: A Failure to Launch

Yesterday two trailers were released for upcoming superhero projects. First, we had Marvel's Ironheart, which Disney has been sitting on for years at this point. Apparently it follows Riri Williams (Dominique Thorne), a young black woman at MIT who is (was?) intended to take over for Tony Stark as Ironwhathaveyou. If you haven't seen the trailer yet, take a look.

I stopped paying too much attention to the MCU a long time ago, but apparently Riri was introduced in Wakanda Forever, and her fans have been clamoring for a standalone show ever since (/sarcasm). Watching the trailer, I can't help but notice how many times we're told she's smart and capable. Any suggestion that she can't do something is shot down immediately. We're supposed to believe that The System is against is her because she's poor, I guess, and doesn't have Tony Stark's advantages.

Remember Tony Stark? Sure, he was rich. But he was also a self-absorbed man-child who found himself in a cave in Afghanistan who had to engineer his own escape with scrap parts. Tony Stark, who had to learn about self-sacrifice and the consequences of his actions. Robert Downey Jr. make us like the guy, with his easy charm, even though we wanted to see him grow up. There was room for a character arc. No offence to Dominique, but she doesn't have the charm, and her character clearly has nowhere to go.

A few hours later, Warner Bros./DC released the trailer for James Gunn's Superman, the latest reboot of the iconic superhero. We've been waiting for a good Superman for a long time. Something to reunite the fans, the casually interested, and possibly the entire country. And to be honest, I don't think this is gonna do it. Take a look.

Before I go any further, I want to spin my theory on the interview scene, which is a little different from what I'm hearing from most anyone else. Notice how David Corenswet pitches his voice really high when he says, "Sure!" At this point in the movie, I don't think Lois (Rachel Brasnahan) knows that Clark is Superman, and thinks he's just playacting. But when Clark drops his voice, he's showing his cards a little bit. Then, when he completely loses his cool, he's just acting how Lois thinks Superman would respond. In context (the scene is reportedly ten minutes long!), it might be interesting. Out of context, in a trailer, it's a stupid decision.

Throughout the entire trailer we see Superman smacked around, knocked out, screaming out in self-defense, and made fun of for having a dog. There are some super-heroics, to be sure, but they're mitigated by the overwhelming amount of thrashing he takes. Unlike Riri, I guess he's got some room for growth. But it doesn't inspire me to see the movie. Some are defending this approach, suggesting that someone with such a clear cut understanding of right and wrong would be frustrated and confused by our complex, political climate. And I agree. But his moral compass and grace towards an unfair world should have been set before leaving Smallville and going out into the world.

So on the one hand, we've got a flawless female character. And on the other, we've got an immature Superman. Neither character is attractive, warts and all. Neither character is relatable or inspiring in the ways the filmmakers intended, as presented. Maybe the show and movie will be good. But someone else will have to let me know. Because right now, I'm not inspired to see either one.

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