Maybe it’s just part of being an adult in the modern world, but I always feel like my time and attention are fragmented. Of course, I probably make things worse for myself than they need to be. I’ll start watching through a TV series and, a few episodes or even seasons in, I’ll set it aside for something else. Same with video games. Long gone are the days when I’d watch through an entire movie franchise in a weekend or over the course of a month. And online I’m constantly dipping out of the drama du jour.
Daily Twitter and YouTube drama never has a resolution.
I’m sure I’m not alone in this feeling of being incomplete because I never complete anything, or indulge in pointless, endless cycles. The sense of relief and accomplishment I felt that freshman year of college after finals is still one of the most satisfying moments of life and it lasted for days. I miss that. As I’m writing this, I’m realizing that the best parts of my day are times when I’m journaling, training, and preparing meals. These are clearly defined tasks with starting and ending points.
It’s the in between times (which is the majority of my time) where I struggle.
There’s also the sense that since my work is never done I should always be working. The mail is stacking up, the yard needs cleaning, and I really need to set up a guest bedroom. All these things will be attended to eventually. When I’m not taking care of more immediate things. I hope. Sometimes the best I can do in a day is make sure that everyone is happy and cared for according to their immediate needs.
Two of my needs are creative time and structured time.
Maybe the right-brain/left-brain science is suspect. Still, it’s something I feel. Yesterday I did two things that brought me a small, but deep, satisfaction: I worked on my novel and I worked on a Lego kit. The novel is something I started about four years ago and just needs some editing an ending. Going through it again from page one, I’m catching some errors and making some improvements. This is actually my favorite part of the process, when I get to mold the still wet clay.
And then there’s the Lego.
My father and my father’s father always preferred buying blue Fords, and the first vehicle I picked out for myself is the same. So when I saw that Lego has a blue Mustang kit, buying it was no brainer. It’s easily one of the most complex sets I’ve come across, and even closely following the instructions I’ve had to go back, tear things apart, and put them back together. If you haven’t bought any Lego lately, different sections of the build come in numbered bags. So I’m taking my time, doing one bag at a time.
Unlike the three or four TV series I have in my Continue Watching que, I’ll finish this.
These respites from the chaos of life and the world are essential. The novel is something I’ll be able to share with the world. The Lego is something that rests my mind so that I can come back to the novel. Seeing progress on something that lasts longer than dinner keeps me grounded, and is a respite from all the broken pieces of life.