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Movie Review - The Robert Langdon Trilogy
July 31, 2023
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Last week and over the weekend I watched Ron Howard’s Robert Langdon trilogy, based on Dan Brown’s novels. When Howard and Tom Hanks teamed up for Apollo 13 they won numerous awards and near universal acclaim. This time (all three times, actually), not so much. Then again, with Apollo 13 they had a gripping true story. For this set of movies, they had books by an author whose titles cluttered first airport racks and now Goodwill shelves.

Brief popularity doesn’t mean longevity. 

Yet I watched all three in a row. How? Why? Well, the first question is easy. The movies were available on Peacock and are so segmented that I could catch a few scenes here, a few there, and not worry or care about a cinematic journey. Answering why I watched them is a little more complex. For one thing, the movies were leaving at the end of July, and nothing motivates me like a ticking clock. I’ve read The Da Vinci Code and used to have some of Brown’s other books on my shelf (I gave them away when we moved). I'd also seen the first two movies before, so I knew what to expect.

Knowing what to expect sometimes makes for a more relaxing experience.

Since I was looking for something to watch in the evenings after Mom went to bed, I didn’t want anything too bombastic. Someone noted that Robert Langdon is responsible for an entire generation of adventurers who go to the library rather than explore dangerous tombs. What’s less bombastic than a library? Even an ancient one filled with cultists?

Nothing.

Watching The Da Vinci Code, I got the feeling that I was watching a hacky religious movie for Gnostics, no better than some Christian or Mormon films for the budget or star power. In a weird inversion of how things usually go, the first movie may be the worst and the series only improves from there. The heresy on display is far older than most people realize, but I doubt it’s ever been more blatantly poured into the popular culture than it is here. 

But we love watching smart people solve puzzles, so we let it slide.

Angels & Demons is of more interest to conspiracy theorists, as it touches on two of their favorite topics: CERN and the Catholic Church. Once again, religious people take a hit. But it’s a glancing blow. Brown is clearly not a fan of organized religion, but even he has to admit there are some good people doing good things through it. At its core, the movie is basically the same. This time there’s greater emphasis on the ticking clock, but it’s all the same puzzles, teamups, and betrayals. 

But we love watching smart people solve puzzles, so we let it slide.

The final movie, Inferno, is a little different in that the cultists are climate extremists. It’s made very clear that saving the planet is their religion, and they’re the bad guys. Kinda makes you wonder if it would even get made today. Brown and Howard try to breathe new life into the formula in other ways, but really, if you’ve seen one you’ve seen them all. The ticking clock is even more prominent. The female sidekick is younger and prettier. The main antagonist is already dead. And yet, I was never gripped with suspense.

But I love watching smart people solve puzzles, so I let it slide.

As I worked my way through the trilogy, I often thought how much Howard was straining to chanel Hitchock, especially in the final installment. Langdon is an everyman, and in Inferno he has less of an idea what’s going on than in the others. Like Cary Grant in North by Northwest, Langdon is always on the run trying to stop something with major implications. Unfortunately, Opie lacks the Master’s touch, and our old Bosom Buddy is more frumpy than suave. 

Hitchcock also took popular novels that are now mostly forgotten and made great films out them. Not everyone can do that. Clearly.

Aside from the puzzles and the sense that I was learning something (even if it was heresies, myth, and bad readings of history), I stuck it out because of the locations. The movies are trash, but even they can’t take away the awe and grandeur of the European cities. I may never go to those places, and travel documentaries are fine, but wrapping them in a story, no matter how bad, creates a greater experience for me. Will I watch the movies again? Perhaps. But I have no interest in the books, because it’s all about the visuals, which are timeless, beautiful, and true. 

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Leo and Britt come face to face with a prehistoric god a new cult on Saturn. Can they save the children doomed to sacrifice and escape?

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Leo and Brittany have arrived on Saturn, but not in the way they'd hoped. Captured by a pagan cult, they don't have time to stop the unthinkable from happening. But they'll try anyway.

Content warning: language and sexual situations.

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Star Wars is dead and the more apathy you show the faster it will be allowed to rest in peace.

Instead of griping about what Disney has done, why don't you listen to my space adventure story? He Who Rides on the Clouds is supernatural noir that spans space and time. When children on Mars go missing, Alexis Leonard and his ex-wife Brittany go looking. Their search leads them to a pagan temple and an ancient religion.

If you'd like to buy the story and read ahead, it's available in the Fall 2020 issue of Cirsova, available here: https://amzn.to/3yRRywY

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Will AI Replace the Writers?

When it comes to human technological advancement, artificial intelligence (AI) will probably be looked on as significant as the printing press. Whether you love it, hate it, are anxious, or ambivalent about it, nothing short of a Tower of Babel act of God is going to make AI disappear. It will likely change in some way everything we do, and, at the rate things are going, very soon if it hasn’t already.

But if we’re good at one thing, it’s adapting.

For the sake of brevity, I’m not going to spend any time trying to define what AI is. Rather, I want to discuss what it can do. More importantly, I want to talk about what it can’t do, and I have a perspective that I have yet to hear anyone mention. Full disclosure, I like AI and use it several times a day for getting information. Gone are the days of keyword searches and sifting through results.

Now I can just ask a question like I’m talking to a person and get an answer.

It’s great!

However, in the very near future AI will be able to do more. Much, much more. We’ll be able to ask an AI to make a movie with certain plot elements and actors, done in a particular style, and have it. We’ll be able to ask for a new novel from our favorite author and have a custom made original work. It’s not there yet (I think several movie scripts have been written by AI with little oversight and the results have been dismal), but we’ll get there.

So as a creative, I have to ask if I’ll still be relevant. 

Well, in short, yes. Because the people who anticipate or fear AI taking over creative spaces are overlooking the fact that us humans, created in the image of God, are more than just physical parts and chemical reactions. Every so often you hear about someone receiving a donated organ and developing a character trait of the donor. There are many questions about surrogate pregnancies, where the DNA comes from the parents, but how the baby, who has grown in the womb of another woman and grown accustomed to her voice, will do when suddenly separated from her.

When we create, do we put something spiritual, something of ourselves, into the work?

I think so.

One of the nice things about being in the indie author space is getting to read books written by my friends. Not friends in the parasocial, “I feel like I know him through his work,” sense, but people I’ve actually met in person or through long interactions online. And when I read their work, even if it’s fiction, I get the feeling that I’m spending time with them. While it’s not the same experience as receiving a personal letter, as these stories are written for everyone, I still know deep down that I’m looking into the depths of their hearts.

AI can’t replicate that.

There’s more to writing than word choice and the length of a sentence. Sure, AI will be able to spit out a novel without any adverbs and lots of short, punchy dialog and call it Hemingway. And, because we never met the guy, we may find a surface level satisfaction from reading it. But it will never be Hemingway. We need to remember that. More importantly, as AI becomes ubiquitous and customized novels become easily accessible, we need to know our authors.

Storytelling is communal, not commercial.

Get online and find a self-published novel you like. Then reach out to the author on social media. I promise you, with rare exceptions, they’re there. If you know writers, read their work and share it with your friends. AI is an incredible tool that will facilitate the telling of many great stories in new mediums. But if we allow it replace human interaction, we’re doomed.

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Spoiler Review - Flight Risk (2025)

Out of the theater reaction video:

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Last year I only made it to the movie theater a couple times. The year before that I only made it once. The main problem is that movies are so darn long! With only four hours to myself most days, an epic has to fall in the sweet spot that fits my limited time. So this Saturday, when I realized Mel Gibson’s latest directorial effort was only 90 minutes, I had to go.

Even if the reviews were so-so and I wasn’t super interested.

There will be spoilers.

While Mark Wahlberg receives top billing, Flight Risk really belongs to Topher Grace and Michelle Dockery. Grace plays Winston, a former mob bookkeeper hiding out in Alaska, who is being flown back to civilization to testify. As you’d expect from the That ‘70s Show Alum, Grace plays Winston as a nervous talker with an obnoxious sense of humor. You know who doesn’t have a sense of humor? US Marshal Madolyn Harris (Dockery). She has the unfortunate task of escorting him.

Very unfortunate.

Because the mob is everywhere. From the get-go, everyone gets an uneasy feeling about the pilot, Daryl (Wahlberg). As well we should, because he’s not the vetted pilot, but a mob hitman. For him, it’s not about the money, either. No. He just likes the game, the torture, the killing. And he’s willing to maim himself to accomplish his goals. Wahlberg plays with different accents, shaved his head, and says incredibly foul things in an unhinged performance.

And Gibson knows when to hold a shot to wring the last ounce of emotion out of his actors.

Things quickly go wrong on the flight, for everyone, and Daryl ends up tied up in the back. Which is good. Except neither Madolyn nor Winston knows how to fly. Which is bad. Using her sat phone, Madolyn is put in touch with Hasan (Maaz Ali), who shamelessly flirts with her as a distraction and to bring some much needed levity to film.

Because there’s a pervasive sense of danger.

Early in the flight, before Daryl is revealed to not be Daryl, the plane hits a bird, leaving a bloody smear across the windshield. That token of death remains throughout the film, the only bright spot in the drab cockpit. Anyone could die at any moment. This isn’t a franchise film. The guardrails of a potential sequel don’t exist. Had this movie been made in another era, our doubts of getting a happy resolution would only be heightened.

And I couldn’t help but think of 1985’s Runaway Train.

Both movies take place in the Alaskan wasteland. Both movies are set on vehicles that cannot stop and, left unimpeded, will crash. Both movies center around two desperate men and a woman who legitimately shouldn’t be there. And let’s just say, Runaway Train doesn’t have a happy ending. But it is satisfying, in its own way.

And Flight Risk is also satisfying.

I really appreciated that push and pull of the story. This isn’t a situation where our protagonists are always losing. Sometimes Daryl gets the upper hand, but when he’s put down, hard, we enjoy it. Every. Single. Time. It might be stupid, petty, or contrived. But in the moment I didn’t care. He had it coming to him.

Ultimately, Flight Risk isn’t a great movie. Certainly a lesser Gibson.

But if he was just looking for a practice run before getting back in the saddle, he proved he can still work on a small scale. The movie delivered exactly what it promised, no more and no less. I know most people aren’t impressed. Me? I enjoyed it for what it was. 

 

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TV Review - Wild Cards

Back in the mid-00’s the USA Network said, “Characters welcome.” Shows like Monk, Burn Notice, White Collar, Psych, Royal Pains, and Suits filled the schedule and TV was, for a time, fun. The shows may not have had the most complex plots, but by the end of the episode you felt good about what you’d just seen. 

The colors were bright and the skies were blue.

But if you’ve looked at cable or network TV lately, things aren’t quite so cheerful. NCIS: Origins has a color grading best described as muddy, Tracker is somber, and even Matlock is more sour than sweet. Sure you can watch them as a family, but why would you? Even the 20 year old reruns of NCIS are more vibrant and feel-good than anything on TV now. And if you’re like me, you’ve got some of those episodes memorized.

Is there anything currently in production that recaptures that spirit early aughts?

Yes. Ironically, it’s from our neighbors to the north.

Wild Cards (available on Amazon Prime Video) is similar to White Collar in tone. Max (Vanessa Morgan) is a charismatic con artist working in a fictional Canadian city. Cole (Giacomo Gianniotti) is the straight-laced cop who catches her. In order to keep her out of jail and restore his position in the police department, they have to work together to solve crimes. That’s it. The show doesn’t even try to hide what it’s doing.

“We’re like Bones and that dude from Buffy… Castle and that hot girl… A Star is Born only you’re Lady Gaga and I’m Bradley Cooper.”

No, Max isn’t as smooth as White Collar’s Neal and Cole’s life isn’t as stable as Peter’s, since rather than a wife and house he has a cat (named Mark) and a houseboat. But the “can I or can I not trust you?” dynamic is the same. Their cases take them to all the usual places. We have the mystery on the set of a TV series plot, the trapped in a bank during a robbery plot, and the going under cover as a couple in need of therapy plot. We’ve seen it all before, but we haven’t seen these characters go through the paces, and that’s what makes it fun.

Even if you’re scrolling social media at the same time.

Is it family friendly? Well, Max has curves in all the right places and isn’t shy about showing them off, and sometimes the stories push the boundaries of good taste (with suggestive video and commentary to match). But overall, in fairly inoffensive. I’m not too worried about it going any further than it already has, and I hope Prime gets season two soon.

Because I like my skies blue.

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