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Movie Review - The Robert Langdon Trilogy
July 31, 2023
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Last week and over the weekend I watched Ron Howard’s Robert Langdon trilogy, based on Dan Brown’s novels. When Howard and Tom Hanks teamed up for Apollo 13 they won numerous awards and near universal acclaim. This time (all three times, actually), not so much. Then again, with Apollo 13 they had a gripping true story. For this set of movies, they had books by an author whose titles cluttered first airport racks and now Goodwill shelves.

Brief popularity doesn’t mean longevity. 

Yet I watched all three in a row. How? Why? Well, the first question is easy. The movies were available on Peacock and are so segmented that I could catch a few scenes here, a few there, and not worry or care about a cinematic journey. Answering why I watched them is a little more complex. For one thing, the movies were leaving at the end of July, and nothing motivates me like a ticking clock. I’ve read The Da Vinci Code and used to have some of Brown’s other books on my shelf (I gave them away when we moved). I'd also seen the first two movies before, so I knew what to expect.

Knowing what to expect sometimes makes for a more relaxing experience.

Since I was looking for something to watch in the evenings after Mom went to bed, I didn’t want anything too bombastic. Someone noted that Robert Langdon is responsible for an entire generation of adventurers who go to the library rather than explore dangerous tombs. What’s less bombastic than a library? Even an ancient one filled with cultists?

Nothing.

Watching The Da Vinci Code, I got the feeling that I was watching a hacky religious movie for Gnostics, no better than some Christian or Mormon films for the budget or star power. In a weird inversion of how things usually go, the first movie may be the worst and the series only improves from there. The heresy on display is far older than most people realize, but I doubt it’s ever been more blatantly poured into the popular culture than it is here. 

But we love watching smart people solve puzzles, so we let it slide.

Angels & Demons is of more interest to conspiracy theorists, as it touches on two of their favorite topics: CERN and the Catholic Church. Once again, religious people take a hit. But it’s a glancing blow. Brown is clearly not a fan of organized religion, but even he has to admit there are some good people doing good things through it. At its core, the movie is basically the same. This time there’s greater emphasis on the ticking clock, but it’s all the same puzzles, teamups, and betrayals. 

But we love watching smart people solve puzzles, so we let it slide.

The final movie, Inferno, is a little different in that the cultists are climate extremists. It’s made very clear that saving the planet is their religion, and they’re the bad guys. Kinda makes you wonder if it would even get made today. Brown and Howard try to breathe new life into the formula in other ways, but really, if you’ve seen one you’ve seen them all. The ticking clock is even more prominent. The female sidekick is younger and prettier. The main antagonist is already dead. And yet, I was never gripped with suspense.

But I love watching smart people solve puzzles, so I let it slide.

As I worked my way through the trilogy, I often thought how much Howard was straining to chanel Hitchock, especially in the final installment. Langdon is an everyman, and in Inferno he has less of an idea what’s going on than in the others. Like Cary Grant in North by Northwest, Langdon is always on the run trying to stop something with major implications. Unfortunately, Opie lacks the Master’s touch, and our old Bosom Buddy is more frumpy than suave. 

Hitchcock also took popular novels that are now mostly forgotten and made great films out them. Not everyone can do that. Clearly.

Aside from the puzzles and the sense that I was learning something (even if it was heresies, myth, and bad readings of history), I stuck it out because of the locations. The movies are trash, but even they can’t take away the awe and grandeur of the European cities. I may never go to those places, and travel documentaries are fine, but wrapping them in a story, no matter how bad, creates a greater experience for me. Will I watch the movies again? Perhaps. But I have no interest in the books, because it’s all about the visuals, which are timeless, beautiful, and true. 

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Leo and Britt come face to face with a prehistoric god a new cult on Saturn. Can they save the children doomed to sacrifice and escape?

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Leo and Brittany have arrived on Saturn, but not in the way they'd hoped. Captured by a pagan cult, they don't have time to stop the unthinkable from happening. But they'll try anyway.

Content warning: language and sexual situations.

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Star Wars is dead and the more apathy you show the faster it will be allowed to rest in peace.

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If you'd like to buy the story and read ahead, it's available in the Fall 2020 issue of Cirsova, available here: https://amzn.to/3yRRywY

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Ironheart and Superman: A Failure to Launch

Yesterday two trailers were released for upcoming superhero projects. First, we had Marvel's Ironheart, which Disney has been sitting on for years at this point. Apparently it follows Riri Williams (Dominique Thorne), a young black woman at MIT who is (was?) intended to take over for Tony Stark as Ironwhathaveyou. If you haven't seen the trailer yet, take a look.

I stopped paying too much attention to the MCU a long time ago, but apparently Riri was introduced in Wakanda Forever, and her fans have been clamoring for a standalone show ever since (/sarcasm). Watching the trailer, I can't help but notice how many times we're told she's smart and capable. Any suggestion that she can't do something is shot down immediately. We're supposed to believe that The System is against is her because she's poor, I guess, and doesn't have Tony Stark's advantages.

Remember Tony Stark? Sure, he was rich. But he was also a self-absorbed man-child who found himself in a cave in Afghanistan who had to engineer his own escape with scrap parts. Tony Stark, who had to learn about self-sacrifice and the consequences of his actions. Robert Downey Jr. make us like the guy, with his easy charm, even though we wanted to see him grow up. There was room for a character arc. No offence to Dominique, but she doesn't have the charm, and her character clearly has nowhere to go.

A few hours later, Warner Bros./DC released the trailer for James Gunn's Superman, the latest reboot of the iconic superhero. We've been waiting for a good Superman for a long time. Something to reunite the fans, the casually interested, and possibly the entire country. And to be honest, I don't think this is gonna do it. Take a look.

Before I go any further, I want to spin my theory on the interview scene, which is a little different from what I'm hearing from most anyone else. Notice how David Corenswet pitches his voice really high when he says, "Sure!" At this point in the movie, I don't think Lois (Rachel Brasnahan) knows that Clark is Superman, and thinks he's just playacting. But when Clark drops his voice, he's showing his cards a little bit. Then, when he completely loses his cool, he's just acting how Lois thinks Superman would respond. In context (the scene is reportedly ten minutes long!), it might be interesting. Out of context, in a trailer, it's a stupid decision.

Throughout the entire trailer we see Superman smacked around, knocked out, screaming out in self-defense, and made fun of for having a dog. There are some super-heroics, to be sure, but they're mitigated by the overwhelming amount of thrashing he takes. Unlike Riri, I guess he's got some room for growth. But it doesn't inspire me to see the movie. Some are defending this approach, suggesting that someone with such a clear cut understanding of right and wrong would be frustrated and confused by our complex, political climate. And I agree. But his moral compass and grace towards an unfair world should have been set before leaving Smallville and going out into the world.

So on the one hand, we've got a flawless female character. And on the other, we've got an immature Superman. Neither character is attractive, warts and all. Neither character is relatable or inspiring in the ways the filmmakers intended, as presented. Maybe the show and movie will be good. But someone else will have to let me know. Because right now, I'm not inspired to see either one.

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What Do We Want? Familiar Originality! When Do We Want It? Now!

There is an ongoing debate over what movie audiences really want. On the one hand, there are those who bemoan the upcoming slate of films that are nothing but sequels and prequels. “People want original movies!” they say, and use the spectacular failure of recent comic book movies as proof. But when an original movie like the recent Black Bag doesn’t make a dent at the box office and is quietly shuffled onto streaming, the other side can say, “No they don’t.”

So which is it?

I say, both!

The average viewer likes familiarity. That’s why every night on TV millions of people watch the latest episode of their favorite procedural. Every episode is the same. Has been for years. Doesn’t matter if you’re watching Bones, House M.D., or NCIS, at the end of the day, the story beats are invariably the same. The characters fill the same archetypes. 

Even if you aren’t a student of scriptwriting, you know the flow.

Engaging with a story is sometimes like singing a song. Sometimes you want to sit back and listen to a master perform, but other times you want to join in. And if the tune is simple and familiar, you can learn new words that much more easily. If the melody is complex, with tempo and key changes, it demands attention. That’s when you just sit back and appreciate someone else’s artistry. 

More often than not, we’re drawn to the familiar. 

We go to the movies to be entertained more than we go to be challenged.

But Hollywood seems determined to challenge us. They challenge our ideas of who are familiar are. They challenge our core beliefs about right and wrong. When they do make something that isn’t from a well established intellectual property, they challenge us to accept an unfamiliar actor, who likely isn’t attractive or charming. Why should we want to get to know this person and the character he or she is playing?

We don’t. 

Mass appeal isn’t difficult. Our mainstream entertainment providers are making it difficult, probably in large part because they don’t know or understand what we want. And unless they do, people just like us will move to replace them. 

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Book Review - The Revenant and the Cult - Book Two: The Terror in the Wychwood

In the forward to The Revenant and the Cult - Book Two: The Terror in the Wychwood, author Herman P. Hunter mentions that his influences are J.R.R. Tolkien, Robert E. Howard, C.S. Lewis, and H.P. Lovecraft. While it may seem odd to intersperse deeply religious writers with those antagonistic to the idea of a benevolent God, from a writer’s perspective it makes sense.

For a fantasy writer, particularly one of faith, they are essential.

It’s also worth remembering that all four men were producing their greatest works around the same time on opposite sides of the Atlantic. Theirs was the golden age of worldbuilding, and it’s practically impossible for today’s writer of the fantastic not be influenced by their work, consciously or through osmosis. But to fully appreciate modern genre fiction, it’s to our advantage to drink deeply from their bibliographies.

Because genre fiction doesn’t always mean science fiction and fantasy.

As I noted in my review of The Revenant and the Cult - Book One: The Missing Spy, that story draws heavily from western tropes. Howard, always one to blaze his own trails, also dabbled in Lovecraft’s mythos, but before taking his own life seemed to be moving into writing cowboy stories. He was a Texan, after all. Unlike many authors, he was never satisfied staying in category for too long. 

With his series, Hunter is doing something similar, but different.

Tolkien’s work may be the pinnacle of fantasy writing and the standard to which all fantasy writers are held, as well as the guiding influence of Hunter’s work. But with The Terror in the Wychwood, he again draws heavily from his American brethren. In this story our main trio, Halsedric, Herodiani, and Roe must traverse through a swampy forrest of Lovecraftian horrors, fighting through hoards Frank Frazetta would have been happy to depict.

Two words: Moonlight Hunters.

But while Conan believed in Crom, an absent god who took little interest in the lives men, and Lovecraft only wrote of terrible Ancient Ones who would wipe out humanity like stepping on insignificant ants, Halsedric has a relationship with his Allfather. There is incredible evil in this world, but there is also an all-powerful good, and our hero is His representative. One need not believe in God to appreciate the story, as it’s never preachy, but it’s a fearless attempt to stand alongside all the works that inspired it.

Christian and otherwise, alike.

As the series has gone on, Hunter’s writing has only gotten richer. The books fly by and are pleasant reading, even with the elevated style of the classics. Anyone looking for the pulp violence of Howard, with the weird of Lovecraft, the tenderness of Lewis, and the worldview of Tolkien will feel right at home.

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