Over the weekend I was finally able to see Fast X, the latest film(?) in the long-running The Fast and the Furious franchise. In the first movie from 2001 Vin Diesel’s Dominic Toretto says he lives his life a quarter mile at a time. Who would have thought that a throwaway movie would go beyond that and for over two decades? Well, it helps that Fast Five morphed the series from its generic roots into an action, heist, espionage extravaganza.
And I’m not ashamed to say, I’ve enjoyed the ride.
Now, I’m the biggest fan of episodes 8 and 9 I am not. Pretty sure I haven’t even watched 9 since I saw it in the theater, even though the disc has its obligatory place on my shelf. I know I’ll go back and watch all of them at some point, even the lesser entries, but the last two really lowered my expectations. If you’re like me and haven’t seen Fast X yet, I’m happy to report that the fun is back.
The fun is back, now with more weird. Which is saying something.
I’m not going to bother talking about the plot. No one cares about that, and if you do you hate these movies. Nothing in Fast X is going to change your mind. We’ve reached a point in the series where you can’t just jump right in, either. This is a soap opera, like your grandmother used to watch every day so she could follow all the threads. The Fast and the Furious is similar, except it’s not plot threads.
It’s callbacks.
So the movies have been getting increasingly absurd, not just in denying the laws of physics. Long lost siblings and surprise children appear out of nowhere. Amnesia. Dead characters are actually still alive. The retconning practically demands time travel. The list goes on and on. It’s not convoluted, really, because everything is explained in the simplest of terms and we’re expected to just go with it.
Now with Fast X we graduated to the point where new characters are inserted into old movies.
Jason Momoa plays Dante, the son of the villain in Fast Five who has been plotting his revenge for the last ten years. What’s taken him so long? In the words of The Critical Drinker, “Don’t care.” Coming from the movie, that’s a command: “Don’t you dare care or even think about it.”
Fast X knows it’s part of a superhero saga. To my utter surprise, though, it thinks it’s The Dark Knight!
Momoa plays Dante like Heath Ledger’s Joker as Jack Sparrow, twisted, sexually amorphis, flamboyant, deranged and cunning. Like the Joker, his plan is so well thought through that our heroes are always playing defense. And at one point he uses a street race to create a “whose life will you save?” impossible choice right out of the Joker’s playbook. Is it as compelling or meaningful? Heck no!
But here’s the thing…
These movies have a loyal fanbase. I know, because I’m part of it. The set pieces are generally fun, as is the cribbing from better movies. The women are hot, the men are 80’s action movie huge, and the cars are sleek. The locations are as exotic and gorgeous as everything else. But that’s not enough. What Fast X has is sincerity and heart. Unlike Dungeons & Dragons, the men get to unapologetically be men. Respect is earned or lost based on actions, not gender or skill color. Dramatic moments aren’t undercut by an ironic wink or outright mocked.
These movies never tell the audience, “We know you’re above this sh-t.”
Too many action movies now tell us to look down them, because things like honor can’t possibly be taken seriously. The Fast and the Furious has always taken family, honor, and dignity very seriously. Beyond that, there’s no message and certainly no agenda. Just stupid, stupid, entertainment.
With a good heart.