I said on Twitter the other day, “Spending the last weekend of my 30s not caring that it’s the last weekend of my 30s.” Entering a new decade this week isn’t really a big deal right now. Maybe that will change Wednesday night, when the reality of it all hits. But so far it’s not causing any anxiety or melancholy.
I have some theories why.
For one thing, I’ve maintained my health. People always assume I’m younger than I am, probably in part because I haven’t hit most of life’s milestones (ie: wife, kids, house, career), and probably because I don’t look my age. Never have. I’m in better physical and mental health now than I was in my late 20s, so I feel better, I feel younger, now than I did when I was, well, younger. Is it all downhill from here? Will my body rebel against me? It’s possible.
The wireless earbuds I use and abuse could give me brain cancer.
But until circumstances prove otherwise, I’m going to assume I’ll have my health for a good long time. While I’m doing my morning workouts I often think about the imperfection of my form, and then remember I’m miles ahead of most. I take some pride in that, sure. But I also realize that I’m blessed to have caught descent early and to have found the resources I needed to turn things around. I can put more time into my fitness and meals than I need to, so I do.
Circumstances change, so make hay while the sun shines.
Those same circumstances that permit me all this time to put into my health come at something of a cost. As I mentioned earlier, I don’t have the wife, kids, house, or career that make fitness so difficult for my peers. Believe me, I wish I did. And as I progress further into middle age, I have to accept that some of those things may never happen. That’s a bitter pill. Other responsibilities have gotten in my way, and no it’s not fair.
Life isn’t fair.
The silver lining, I suppose, is that once many men have achieved the American Dream they have a midlife crisis. I’ve already seen it happen in some of my friends. I don’t know that I have to worry about it. Those things that seem to spark the midlife crisis will always be desirable to me and I’ll never stop looking for ways to earn them. But here I am, in midlife, and I’ve got nothing to make me feel like I’ve arrived. I’ve also got too many stories I want to tell, too many things I want to learn, too many places I want to see.
I’ve got too many dreams to ever feel like there’s nothing left but bikini models and sportscars.
If you know a bikini model with a sportscar who’s in the market for an aspiring writer who lives with his mom and two cats, hook me up!
Finally, I don’t think 40 is a big deal because I’m looking ahead to eternity. I sure take good care of myself for a guy who doesn’t care about longevity. Though I want to take advantage of any opportunity that may come my way before God calls me Home, I’m ready to go anytime. I believe that Eternity will be the full restoration of life as God intended in the Garden at the dawn of creation. There will be stories to compose, experiences to be had, food to enjoy, and perfect love between neighbors.
If I didn’t believe that with all my heart, what a bitter person I would be.
There’s no desperation in my limited days to wring as much out of this one life as possible. Like the old song says, “The best is yet to come.”