Hope you aren’t squeamish, because this week’s episode of The Ark has spiders, dislocated fingers, kissing (ew!), and this review has spoilers.
When we last left our heroes, William Trust (rhymes with Elon Musk) and Lane were locked in the brig on Ark 15, while the psychopath Kelly tried to make Angus her new pet. Meanwhile, Garnet has snuck aboard, leaving the very sick Brice in command of Ark 1. She was able to sneak in through a back door while a crew member delivered spider DNA.
As you do.
The spider DNA is the key ingredient to curing Klampkin’s Disease, from which Brice and Evelynn Maddox (Kelly’s psycho mom and leader of Ark 15) both suffer. But Garnet held onto the magic spiders and sent Evelynn regular spiders, buying them some time. A ticking clock is introduced when Alicia explains that Ark 15’s doctor will realize that in a few hours.
Tik-tock, tik-tock
Garnet is able to hack into Ark 15’s computer in the most realistic way possible (reboot, command, enter code, etc) and I was amused to see that in the distant future they still use file folder icons. Anyway, the crew of Ark 1 is able to fiddle with Ark 15’s systems without anyone noticing, while Garnet goes after Angus.
Oh, Angus.
The farmboy knows he can manipulate the unstable Kelly, and while he flubbed it last time he gets a second chance. Because she’s psycho! Kelly invites him to have dinner with her mom, and things don’t get off to a great start. Then someone catches sight of Garnet while she’s in the lab figuring out the other two ingredients for the Klampkin’s cure and manages to set off the intruder alarm, Evelynn has a heart attack thanks to Klampkin’s, and Angus saves her life.
Two points for House Agriculture!
Garnet gets to the brig, hoping to find Angus (because screw the other hostages) and just finds, well, the other hostages. Then security shows up and she joins them in lockup. With her com taken away, things on Ark 1 get tense and Brice also has a Klampkin’s attack. Dr. Kabir explains that the duration of the attacks reflects the progression of the disease. The next attack could be fatal. Time to set another clock.
Tik-tock, tik-tock
The next morning Angus convinces Kelly to take him to see his friends, and bashes Kelly over the head with a breakfast tray, allowing them to escape. Ark 15’s doctor breaks the bad news to Evelynn that they don’t have the magic spiders. And then Garnet and company try to steal the shuttle. Back on Ark 1, Brice demands the Klampkin’s cure before it can be tested and it’s almost fatal. But Eva can’t stay with him because she needs to figure out how to stop Ark 15’s weapon.
It’s a lot of plot for 45 minutes, and I am here for it.
However…
“The Last Thing You Ever Do” is The Ark at both its best and its, well not worst. But weakest. You get the sense that they fell behind schedule and things aren’t as polished as they should be. From Alicia’s accent doing some bizarre things, to Dr. Kabir saying “exasperate” when she means “exacerbate,” some retread ground, and a throwaway scene with Cat (was there something in her contract for so much screen time?), there are some glaring problems. Problems that could have been easily fixed.
But there’s no time!
I do like the way they’re developing Felix’s character. I like that Angus is growing up. I like the idea that rushing a miracle cure ended up giving the world's population a bigger problems (sound familiar?). I genuinely like the simplicity of the plot. Viewership is going up, so I hope this bodes well for a second season.