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TV Review: The Ark episode 10 - "Hoping for Forever"
April 07, 2023
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Maybe I’m just cranky from getting up at 5am to suck water out of the basement (80+ gallons before a late breakfast), but as good as “Hoping for Forever” is, I couldn’t help but focus on a few storytelling missteps. 

Overall, it’s still one of the best shows on television.

Episode 10 opens with a bang. Literally. Kelly is holding a gun on Lane, the Trusts, and Cat, when Lane attacks her. The gun goes off, Helena Trust takes a bullet to the abdomen and Lane takes an elbow to the nose. Kelly is unscathed. Unfortunately, a few moments later Angus shows up with snacks, and like Troy on Community coming back from getting the pizza, walks in on chaos. Kelly invites him to join the party, and he says that he’s not really a party person and turns to go.

Nice bit of humor. But the girl with the gun insists.

Meanwhile, Ark 15 is sending over a shuttle and they aren’t talking. Garnet orders a ship-wide lockdown while Eva tries to weld the hatch shut. For some reason she has to wear welding goggles, but Brice (who insists on supervising, since he doesn’t trust her) is just fine? Let’s not dwell on that. Welding, like great art and good coffee, can’t be rushed, and before she’s finished the assault team arrives. They also came prepared to cut the hatch open.

But they weren’t prepared for Garnet.

See, the shuttle hatch is connected to the airlock. So as soon as they see that these new guys don’t come in peace (the guns and bodyarmor clueing them in), Garnet just opens the door. They’re sucked out into the airless void. Problem solved. Except while they were focused on that entrance, another gunman in a spacesuit was coming in through a different door. He finds Kelly, and they take their hostages, minus Cat and Helena Trust, to the DNA vault.

And here’s the big misstep.

Last week Cat betrayed our crew. The week before we learned she was having an affair with William Trust (rhymes with Elon Musk). She’s always been a little snotty and hasn’t given us many reasons to like her. There’s supposed to be this heart rending moment as Helena dies in her arms, believing that Cat, her “best friend,” would never act on her feelings for William. We despise Helena. We don’t like Cat. The whole moment falls flat.

Moving on.

For reasons that slip my sleep deprived mind, Garnet, Felix, and Brice go after Kelly and her new friend to save the hostages. We get another excellent fight scene, as Felix brings a freaking katana to a gunfight. Kelly’s friend didn’t stand a chance. But Kelly, Angus, William, and Lane still make it back to Ark 15 to meet the real Big Bad of the series.

Kelly’s mom?

Yes Kelly’s mom, Evelyn Maddox, the egomaniacal genius with garish taste in interior design. She’s outfitted Ark 15 like the den of a 90’s movie drug lord, complete with soft light, fine art, and cream upholstery. Rather than being pleased to see her daughter, she yells at her for not bringing back “the package.” Ark 1 escaped, and now Evelyn only has half of what she wants. Angus later tries to use this mother/daughter rift to his advantage, but the farm boy isn’t quite cunning enough to pull it off.

Also, Kelly is creepy crazy.

Alcia and Dr. Kabir figure out that in addition to William Trust (rhymes with Elon Musk), Kelly was supposed to bring back spider DNA. Obviously. After doing some research, they figure out that spiders are one third of the cure for the disease that’s killing Brice and possibly Evelyn Maddox. With a bargaining chip in her hand, Garnet decides to go after the hostages. And they finally arrive at what was intended to be their new home.

Boy, that was fast. 

There’s even more story after that, and Brice accuses Garnet of playing 4D chess. There’s also an amusing moment when he and Eva have a lover’s quarrel in front of everyone and it comes out that they’d had sex. The ensuing awkwardness is played for laughes, which this episode desperately needed. But the episode ends on a cliffhanger.

I haven’t seen this much plot packed into 45 minutes in a long time. 

With only two episodes left, I’m really excited to see where the series is going to go. Which is something else I don’t get to say very often. 

 

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F1 is Modern Western

As a nation, the United States is unique. We don’t share a genetic heritage, but a creed. Americans and our ideas come from all over the world. But we’re at our best when take those outside ideas and make them our own. Everything we have came from another culture, but there was a time when we could take things and collectively make them better.

Democracy? Check. Rock’n’roll? Check. Heck! Chinese food? Yes, we did.

Don’t hate. You know I’m right.

One of the greatest art forms we’ve given the world is the western genre. While rooted in courtly romances of King Arthur, we took the idea of the man on horseback who makes things right on his quest for something spiritual and made it distinctly American. Most of the time, these stories aren’t historically accurate, but that’s not the point. They’re soaked in the American ethos. For better or for worse, the western has become the American myth, even more so than 1776.

And the cool thing about myths is that you can take them and tell other stories. 

Star Trek (and later Firefly) took the western to space. 

A few weeks ago I was able to see F1: The Movie on IMAX, and I had high hopes. Director Joseph Krasinski had proved himself with Top Gun: Maverick, which is about as American as a modern movie can get. But mostly, I just wanted to see if he could do with racecars what he’d done with fighter jets. In that regard, I was everything I’d hoped it would be. The idea of Americanism didn’t even cross my mind, since F1 is primarily a European sport.

Boy, was I surprised.

Brad Pitt plays Sonny Hayes with all the careless cool of Paul Newman in his prime and a Steve McQueen swagger. While Pitt has never played a cowboy and isn’t a racecar driver in real life, Newman and McQueen played both, and did both. Hayes has been keeping himself busy with no-name races since an F1 crash nearly killed him some 30 years before. But when Ruben Cervantes (Javier Bardem), an old friend and rival, needs some wins to save the team, he tracks down Sonny.

And the old dog knows a few tricks.

Naturally, his tactics put him at odds with his teammate, Joshua Pierce (Damson Idris), and his cocky attitude is a big red flag to the team’s engineer, Kate McKenna (Kerry Conden). So the movie all the tropes of a sports film, and I don’t think I need to summarize further. But it’s not a sports film. Or rather, it’s not just a sports a film. Surprise, surprise, it’s the western myth transposed into a racing a story.

It’s spelled out in the trailer, but it didn’t strike me until the very end.

Kate calls Sonny Hayes an “old school rough and tumble cowboy” in a line used in the marketing. When he arrives in the garage, only Ruben knows him. Sonny is the stranger in town. Like James Garner in Support Your Local Sheriff, his method of restoring order and winning is unorthodox and effective. Like Shane, in that Alan Ladd classic, he’s guarded about his past. And like John Wayne in The Searchers and so many other westerns, Sonny Hayes is the outsider who must leave civilization once he’s made it civilized for those who belong there.

But he doesn’t.


Perhaps the hardboiled crime story, another uniquely American genre, is also an outgrowth of the western. Philip Marlow is the man who must walk down mean streets, who is not himself mean. As Raymond Chandler said, “He is a lonely man and his pride is that you will treat him as a proud man or be very sorry you ever saw him.” Basically, the man he’s describing is dangerous, but not cruel. Dispassionate in taking revenge, and restrained by a code of honor.

But destined to be lonely, nonetheless.

Why we’ve made that an essential part of the American is a topic for another time. But there it is. And it’s the story of Sonny Hayes. At the end of the movie [SPOILER], he rides off into the sunset as the credits roll. The western isn’t dead. It’s still there, in essence, speaking to our hearts in different ways.

Nothing more American than that. 

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Girl-Power Isn't the Problem: Stop Treating Movies Like TV Pilots

Last weekend I was able to sneak off the theater for a screening of From the World of John Wick: Ballerina. Did I feel silly, telling the high school girl at the ticket counter, “One for Ballerina, and a small drink”? Well, not in the moment. 

I probably drank a liter of cherry vanilla Coke Zero, and that didn’t feel so great.

Plenty of box office analysts and Hollywood types are wracking their brains, trying to figure out why movies like Furiosa and Ballerina aren’t drawing huge crowds. Mad Max and John Wick are popular franchises, but apparently telling the stories of the women in those worlds isn’t working. Even if the movies are pretty good.

I’ve seen both, and they’re pretty good.

Some are arguing that no one will go near a movie that looks like it’s feminist girl-bossing. Others counter that movies like Alien and Kill Bill are female-led action films that were successful. Now, I’m not going to say that Ballerina is on par with those modern day classics. But I will say that, as a man watching the movie, it didn’t offend me. The movie never challenged me to confront any internalized misogyny. The small girl doesn’t take down John Wick in hand-to-hand combat.

Honestly, if you like franchise, whether you’re male or female, you should watch Ballerina.

In short, from a purely cinematic experience perspective, neither Furiosa nor Ballerina would be any better or worse with a male lead. Maybe that’s a hot take. But that’s mine, for whatever it’s worth. Well, okay, I wouldn’t watch a movie called Ballerina if it stared a dude. Nevertheless, I think you get my point. Petite women warriors aside, the plots and action are exactly as expected.

So what’s the deal?

Well, what no one seems to have noticed is that Ripley and The Bride weren’t replacing anyone. As we were watching their movies for the first time, we weren’t thinking about other characters for whom we already had a preference. Movies are more like TV than TV right now, and replacement characters have always been a hard sell, regardless of gender. We all remember Sam and Diane. Who still talks about Sam and Rebecca (even though Kirstie Alley won an Emmy and a Golden Globe for the part)? I had to look up her name. 

No, they aren’t technically replacing them. It’s a spin-off, set in the same world.

Spin-offs tend to succeed when the characters are already well established (eg: Frasier). Furiosa and Ballerina are more like backdoor pilots, where new characters are dropped in for a single episode to sell us on the idea of a new show. This technique is very hit and miss on TV, and I can’t think of a single example of this working in a movie franchise. Film and television are very different mediums, and should be treated as such.

Still, if it doesn’t work on TV, it’s probably not gonna work at the movies. Not where new characters and spin-offs are concerned. 

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Going Back to 1995

Maybe I’m just getting old, but it doesn’t feel like we had the thriving and distinct pop culture of past generations. Has there been a look or stye, or feeling, that defines this moment? Everything seems to have stagnated for the last twenty years. And it’s not as if I don’t pay attention. 

It’s making me nostalgic. 

Consequently, for the rest of the year, I’m prioritizing movies from 1995, the year I was twelve. At that time, my family didn’t really go to the theater, and when we did rent VHS tapes, more often than it is was older Disney movies or entirely forgettable Christian titles. Now that I’ve grown tired of trying to keep up with new releases, not there’s much worth watching anyway, it feels like a good time to catch up on those 30 year old movies that have become ingrained in what’s left of our pop culture.

So over on Criticless, I made a list.

Some of these are movies I’ve seen before, but not in a long time. Others will be first time watches for me. There’s really no rhyme or reason to what I put on my list. It’s just movies that either interest me, or are currently in my collection, sadly unwatched. As things become available on streaming, I may add to the list. And if I don’t get to everything before the end of the year, no big deal.

Hopefully, they aren’t going anywhere. 

I’ll be posting some reviews and analysis as I go, so be sure to follow me here. 

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