Let’s talk about that Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny ad that dropped during last Sunday’s big football game. If you haven’t been following the rumors, the scuttlebut is that LucasFilm president Kathleen Kenndy has a diabolical plan to retroactively ruin the franchise, just like she did Star Wars, and go woke. Meanwhile, Disney (which now owns LucasFilm) is bleeding money and laying off employees left and right.
Go woke, go broke?
The first trailer from two months ago seemed to prove the rumors true. Our beloved Indy is mocked, and Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s character, Helena, never misses an opportunity to show up the old man. Add in inside reports about dismal test screenings, and it was starting to sound like Kingdom of the Crystal Skull would look like Citizen Kane in comparison. The internet, as usual, was outraged.
Then new rumors started.
Composter John Williams said he was writing new music for new scenes. Director James Mangold said the rumors were false (but also says audiences will have to "retool their brains for this guy."). Reports of the ballooning budget thanks to the reshoots seem to confirm that major story changes are being made. The Big Game TV Spot is our first look at things since all the recutting and reshooting talk started, and there’s only one anyone noticed.
Indy saves Helena, and she’s the butt of the joke.
That’s good, right? Eh, I have my doubts. Every writer has reached a point where a story won’t take any more rejiggering. There are too many cooks in the kitchen of the mind, and even if you can take the salt from the stew the damage is done. To continue with the food analogy, overworking the dough makes lousy bread. The problem is, even if Kathleen Kennedy has been kicked out of the kitchen, it’s too late. But Disney has poured too much money into this project to throw it out.
It’s a pity.
From what I’ve heard, there was actually potential here for a really good movie. I think the writers cooked up an interesting base for a quality production. Unfortunately, it got ruined and all we’re left with is to imagine what could have been. Or….
…We can steal it.
Yeah, you read that right. Great artists steal. Once Dial of Destiny comes out, there will be no shortage of lengthy video essays dissecting the movie and suggesting what everyone should have done. So what? They didn’t, and no amount of complaining will change that. But will if those grifters (because that’s what they are) took all of their creative energy and used it to tell the story that they want to see?
Just don’t do fan fiction.
If I’m right and there’s the germ of a good story in there, someone needs to steal it, grow it, and graft it onto his or her own idea. Indiana Jones is old, he belongs in a museum, but the character is still an inspiration. Or should be. He himself was inspired by terrible old movies. Rather than wallowing in what’s been lost, creators are called to continue his legacy. We go to museums to learn about the past, but also to fire our imaginations. We look at great art, mysteries, and marvels, and can’t help but want to make great things ourselves.
So let’s not waste our time complaining, and spend it creating.