Last night as I was scrolling The Chive, as I often do, I saw a list of this year’s most anticipated movies. Now, as someone who loves all media I thought I was on top of all the upcoming releases. Oh, how wrong I was. Most anticipated? I wasn’t even aware of some of these, and to be honest, only one of them has me really excited.
Let’s take a look.
Renfield
I’d heard vague rumblings of another Nic Cage vampire movie. But until someone sent me the trailer yesterday I hadn’t paid much attention. I should have known it’s a comedy. Once again, Hollywood is trying to mash monsters and superheroes, and I doubt this will be a cinematic universe starter. Cage never disappoints, though.
Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Growing up, my parents wisely limited how many franchises I could follow. They probably saw them for what they were: a means of selling toys. So Ninja Turtles were not a part of my childhood. Pass.
65
Adam Driver isn’t a future governor (or is he?), and he’s certainly not Arnold or Jesse, so I’ll likely ignore this Predator knockoff.
The Color Purple
A musical adaptation of that Oprah Book Club and Whoopie Goldberg property? Probably not for me.
Chicken Run 2: Dawn of the Nugget
I always heard good things about the original Chicken Run. I hope other people enjoy it.
Kraven the Hunter
This was probably the biggest shock on the list. How did I not know about a Kraven movie? Of all the Spider-Man villains, he is arguably the most nuanced. It’s a pity that Sam Raimi never got to cast his buddy Bruce Campbell as Kraven. Looking at the cast list, this looks like another Spidy-free outing from Sony, and as such, it’s too little and way too late.
Napoleon
A big biopic of the little man that could, at least color me interested.
Salem’s Lot
While the recent IT films were mildly entertaining while I waited for the next season of Stranger Things, maybe we should let Stephen King’s catalog rest in peace.
Children of Blood & Bone
Another hopeful franchise starter based on a YA book series, I expect this one will whither from the disease of wokeness. Add it to the pile.
Fast X
Another Fast & Furious movie, no matter how bad, will have me in the theater ASAP. However, the last couple of movies have been so bad, even my enthusiasm is waning.
Cocaine Bear
‘Nuff said
Transformers: Rise of the Beasts
One of these days I’ll go back and watch the first two Transformers movies, which I used to joke I only watched for two reasons and both of them were Megan Fox. But as the franchise (another my parents forced me to ignore) lumbers on, I really couldn’t care less. Now, if they do a crossover with Jurassic Park and/or The Fast and the Furious, that's another story.
The Little Mermaid
Does this movie need to be part of our world?
Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves
I anticipate many hilarious reviews, but not the movie itself. Hopefully it’s so bad it’s good.
DC’s The Flash
Don’t get your hopes up. There’s still time for WB to shelf this one, and they probably will.
Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny
If the rumors are true, Indy 5 will be an epic disaster. They had a good concept, but since Disney is incapable of respecting their elders I doubt this will be the Top Gun: Maverick of the franchise. Anticipate? More like dread.
Ghostbusters: Afterlife 2
The first one was fun. Color me intrigued.
Legally Blonde 3
I just feel like watching Reese return to this character at her age will be painfully awkward.
The Haunted Mansion
AGAIN? It’s not gonna happen, Disney.
M3gan
Horror continues to be the most reliable genre. This one will have scary little legs, but it’s an easy pass for me. No thanks.
Mission: Impossible Dead Reckoning - Part 1
This actually is my most anticipated movie of the year. The trailer promises old Hollywood grandeur and spectacle. Don’t be surprised if this is the last action franchise standing.
The Marvels
Disney scrapes the bottom of another barrel.
Wonka
Could be fun, but I doubt it.
Oppenheimer
I like Christopher Nolan best when he’s limited by established history, whether that be Batman or actual events. This one is gonna be good.
Super Mario Bros.
After the first try a failure of legendary proportions, I’m impressed that they’re even trying again. I guess we’ve had a generation to forget. Probably good move going animated this time.
John Wick: Chapter 4
I came to the franchise late (I don’t like movies where the dog dies), but this is my second-most anticipated film. I love the world building and look forward to seeing more. The crazy violence doesn’t hurt.
Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania
The first Ant-Man is a fun movie, but enough is enough
Barbie
The teaser is shockingly good. If the movie has the same energy, I might actually give it a look.
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3
I’m looking forward to the soundtrack, but the movie not so much.
Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse
The first one is really, really good. I need to watch it again. High hopes for the sequel.