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The Chive's List of the Most Anticipated Movies of '23 and My Reactions
January 06, 2023

Last night as I was scrolling The Chive, as I often do, I saw a list of this year’s most anticipated movies. Now, as someone who loves all media I thought I was on top of all the upcoming releases. Oh, how wrong I was. Most anticipated? I wasn’t even aware of some of these, and to be honest, only one of them has me really excited.

Let’s take a look.

Renfield

I’d heard vague rumblings of another Nic Cage vampire movie. But until someone sent me the trailer yesterday I hadn’t paid much attention. I should have known it’s a comedy. Once again, Hollywood is trying to mash monsters and superheroes, and I doubt this will be a cinematic universe starter. Cage never disappoints, though.

Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Growing up, my parents wisely limited how many franchises I could follow. They probably saw them for what they were: a means of selling toys. So Ninja Turtles were not a part of my childhood. Pass.

65

Adam Driver isn’t a future governor (or is he?), and he’s certainly not Arnold or Jesse, so I’ll likely ignore this Predator knockoff. 

The Color Purple

A musical adaptation of that Oprah Book Club and Whoopie Goldberg property? Probably not for me.

Chicken Run 2: Dawn of the Nugget

I always heard good things about the original Chicken Run. I hope other people enjoy it.

Kraven the Hunter

This was probably the biggest shock on the list. How did I not know about a Kraven movie? Of all the Spider-Man villains, he is arguably the most nuanced. It’s a pity that Sam Raimi never got to cast his buddy Bruce Campbell as Kraven. Looking at the cast list, this looks like another Spidy-free outing from Sony, and as such, it’s too little and way too late.

Napoleon

A big biopic of the little man that could, at least color me interested.

Salem’s Lot

While the recent IT films were mildly entertaining while I waited for the next season of Stranger Things, maybe we should let Stephen King’s catalog rest in peace.

Children of Blood & Bone

Another hopeful franchise starter based on a YA book series, I expect this one will whither from the disease of wokeness. Add it to the pile.

Fast X

Another Fast & Furious movie, no matter how bad, will have me in the theater ASAP. However, the last couple of movies have been so bad, even my enthusiasm is waning.

Cocaine Bear

‘Nuff said

Transformers: Rise of the Beasts

One of these days I’ll go back and watch the first two Transformers movies, which I used to joke I only watched for two reasons and both of them were Megan Fox. But as the franchise (another my parents forced me to ignore) lumbers on, I really couldn’t care less. Now, if they do a crossover with Jurassic Park and/or The Fast and the Furious, that's another story.

The Little Mermaid

Does this movie need to be part of our world? 

Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves

I anticipate many hilarious reviews, but not the movie itself. Hopefully it’s so bad it’s good.

DC’s The Flash

Don’t get your hopes up. There’s still time for WB to shelf this one, and they probably will.

Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny

If the rumors are true, Indy 5 will be an epic disaster. They had a good concept, but since Disney is incapable of respecting their elders I doubt this will be the Top Gun: Maverick of the franchise. Anticipate? More like dread.

Ghostbusters: Afterlife 2

The first one was fun. Color me intrigued.

Legally Blonde 3

I just feel like watching Reese return to this character at her age will be painfully awkward.

The Haunted Mansion

AGAIN? It’s not gonna happen, Disney.

M3gan

Horror continues to be the most reliable genre. This one will have scary little legs, but it’s an easy pass for me. No thanks.

Mission: Impossible Dead Reckoning - Part 1

This actually is my most anticipated movie of the year. The trailer promises old Hollywood grandeur and spectacle. Don’t be surprised if this is the last action franchise standing.

The Marvels

Disney scrapes the bottom of another barrel.

Wonka

Could be fun, but I doubt it.

Oppenheimer

I like Christopher Nolan best when he’s limited by established history, whether that be Batman or actual events. This one is gonna be good.

Super Mario Bros.

After the first try a failure of legendary proportions, I’m impressed that they’re even trying again. I guess we’ve had a generation to forget. Probably good move going animated this time.

John Wick: Chapter 4

I came to the franchise late (I don’t like movies where the dog dies), but this is my second-most anticipated film. I love the world building and look forward to seeing more. The crazy violence doesn’t hurt.

Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania

The first Ant-Man is a fun movie, but enough is enough

Barbie

The teaser is shockingly good. If the movie has the same energy, I might actually give it a look.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3

I’m looking forward to the soundtrack, but the movie not so much.

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

The first one is really, really good. I need to watch it again. High hopes for the sequel.

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Ironheart and Superman: A Failure to Launch

Yesterday two trailers were released for upcoming superhero projects. First, we had Marvel's Ironheart, which Disney has been sitting on for years at this point. Apparently it follows Riri Williams (Dominique Thorne), a young black woman at MIT who is (was?) intended to take over for Tony Stark as Ironwhathaveyou. If you haven't seen the trailer yet, take a look.

I stopped paying too much attention to the MCU a long time ago, but apparently Riri was introduced in Wakanda Forever, and her fans have been clamoring for a standalone show ever since (/sarcasm). Watching the trailer, I can't help but notice how many times we're told she's smart and capable. Any suggestion that she can't do something is shot down immediately. We're supposed to believe that The System is against is her because she's poor, I guess, and doesn't have Tony Stark's advantages.

Remember Tony Stark? Sure, he was rich. But he was also a self-absorbed man-child who found himself in a cave in Afghanistan who had to engineer his own escape with scrap parts. Tony Stark, who had to learn about self-sacrifice and the consequences of his actions. Robert Downey Jr. make us like the guy, with his easy charm, even though we wanted to see him grow up. There was room for a character arc. No offence to Dominique, but she doesn't have the charm, and her character clearly has nowhere to go.

A few hours later, Warner Bros./DC released the trailer for James Gunn's Superman, the latest reboot of the iconic superhero. We've been waiting for a good Superman for a long time. Something to reunite the fans, the casually interested, and possibly the entire country. And to be honest, I don't think this is gonna do it. Take a look.

Before I go any further, I want to spin my theory on the interview scene, which is a little different from what I'm hearing from most anyone else. Notice how David Corenswet pitches his voice really high when he says, "Sure!" At this point in the movie, I don't think Lois (Rachel Brasnahan) knows that Clark is Superman, and thinks he's just playacting. But when Clark drops his voice, he's showing his cards a little bit. Then, when he completely loses his cool, he's just acting how Lois thinks Superman would respond. In context (the scene is reportedly ten minutes long!), it might be interesting. Out of context, in a trailer, it's a stupid decision.

Throughout the entire trailer we see Superman smacked around, knocked out, screaming out in self-defense, and made fun of for having a dog. There are some super-heroics, to be sure, but they're mitigated by the overwhelming amount of thrashing he takes. Unlike Riri, I guess he's got some room for growth. But it doesn't inspire me to see the movie. Some are defending this approach, suggesting that someone with such a clear cut understanding of right and wrong would be frustrated and confused by our complex, political climate. And I agree. But his moral compass and grace towards an unfair world should have been set before leaving Smallville and going out into the world.

So on the one hand, we've got a flawless female character. And on the other, we've got an immature Superman. Neither character is attractive, warts and all. Neither character is relatable or inspiring in the ways the filmmakers intended, as presented. Maybe the show and movie will be good. But someone else will have to let me know. Because right now, I'm not inspired to see either one.

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Engaging with a story is sometimes like singing a song. Sometimes you want to sit back and listen to a master perform, but other times you want to join in. And if the tune is simple and familiar, you can learn new words that much more easily. If the melody is complex, with tempo and key changes, it demands attention. That’s when you just sit back and appreciate someone else’s artistry. 

More often than not, we’re drawn to the familiar. 

We go to the movies to be entertained more than we go to be challenged.

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We don’t. 

Mass appeal isn’t difficult. Our mainstream entertainment providers are making it difficult, probably in large part because they don’t know or understand what we want. And unless they do, people just like us will move to replace them. 

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Book Review - The Revenant and the Cult - Book Two: The Terror in the Wychwood

In the forward to The Revenant and the Cult - Book Two: The Terror in the Wychwood, author Herman P. Hunter mentions that his influences are J.R.R. Tolkien, Robert E. Howard, C.S. Lewis, and H.P. Lovecraft. While it may seem odd to intersperse deeply religious writers with those antagonistic to the idea of a benevolent God, from a writer’s perspective it makes sense.

For a fantasy writer, particularly one of faith, they are essential.

It’s also worth remembering that all four men were producing their greatest works around the same time on opposite sides of the Atlantic. Theirs was the golden age of worldbuilding, and it’s practically impossible for today’s writer of the fantastic not be influenced by their work, consciously or through osmosis. But to fully appreciate modern genre fiction, it’s to our advantage to drink deeply from their bibliographies.

Because genre fiction doesn’t always mean science fiction and fantasy.

As I noted in my review of The Revenant and the Cult - Book One: The Missing Spy, that story draws heavily from western tropes. Howard, always one to blaze his own trails, also dabbled in Lovecraft’s mythos, but before taking his own life seemed to be moving into writing cowboy stories. He was a Texan, after all. Unlike many authors, he was never satisfied staying in category for too long. 

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