The mass appeal of the cable Christmas movie is bewildering to me. That a greeting card company managed to create an entire genre, now endlessly copied, which isn’t even that good is impressive. Where writing, production, and name recognition are concerned they should be indistinguishable from your average Christian movie. But given the following that’s developed around Hallmark movies and their ilk, there's something in the former that's lacking in the latter.
Even Netflix is on the game.
I don’t know why I decided to watch Falling for Christmas this weekend. Like most guys my age, at one time I found Lindsay Lohan mind-blowingly hot. But that was a drug habit and several plastic surgeries ago (hers, not mine). She doesn’t look bad in her return to acting. She just looks a little, well, off. In any case, it wasn’t puerile interests that drew me in. Nor was it the plot, basically lifted from Overboard, as I’ve never seen the Goldie Hawn comedy.
Eh, it looked harmless enough.
Not only is Falling for Christmas pretty inoffensive, it’s fun. And not only is it fun, it’s extremely based. Lohan plays a vapid heiress Sierra Belmont who is engaged to Tad Fairchild (George Young), an equally vapid social media influencer (but I repeat myself). While posing for a selfie with Tad on their ski vacation, they fall off a mountain and don’t you hate when that happens? Tad ends up in the wilderness.
Sierra falls into Christmas, and for Christmas.
No, sorry. The guy’s name is actually Jake Russell (Chord Overstreet) and he’s your standard widower with an adorable child, Avy (Olivia Perez) and a heart of gold. Of course he runs a struggling ski resort, and he’s the one to find the amnesic Sierra and take her home. Tad meanwhile finds himself in a remote cabin with Ralph (Sean Dillingham), the epitome of the manly-man and polar opposite of the fey Fairchild. All of the fish out of water gags are tasteful and not so overdone as get old even when the comedy gets slapsticky.
Now here’s where the movie gets based.
In order to regain her memory Sierra is encouraged to do “normal” things. So Jake puts her to work in the inn, cooking, cleaning, and making beds. Avy gets her to try bacon, and she loves it. Obviously, Sierra has never done any of these things in her life and hilarity ensues, though she finds that bacon is wonderful. The idea that doing domestic things is normal and (dare I say?) fulfilling is never mocked. Making your bed is a virtue.
Even Jordan Peterson would approve.
And what of Tad? His lack of rugged manly virtues, more than his vain self-interest, is routinely mocked. So it’s no surprise at the end when he returns to civilization and takes up with his gay personal assistant. It’s a twist subtle enough that it went over my mom’s head, but it was obvious to me. Given that he’s the butt of so many jokes and the closest thing to a villain, it’s surprising this made it past the sensitivity readers.
I don’t like the movie so much for what it isn’t, as much as what it is.
Falling for Christmas is a celebration of normal. Communities coming together is normal. A woman taking care of her home, cooking meals, and making her bed is normal. Eating bacon is normal. And healthy. A man having the knowledge and experience to take care of himself outdoors and show compassion to others when he himself is hurting? That’s normal too.
We don’t need a new normal.
The stories we tell reflect the future we want to see. If we want to change the culture and restore the old values, all we need to do is remind the world of what’s natural and normal. These Christmas movies do that, and their following shows that audiences are hungry for more than just bacon.