My dad always discouraged me from watching Star Wars and Indiana Jones. “It’s just one stupid fight after another,” he’d say. I remember when I asked permission to record Star Wars on VHS and he relented. “I don’t think you’ll like it,” was all he said. We were a Star Trek house (I was obsessed with TNG for a while), after all. Because it was more thoughtful? I don’t know.
The Star Wars bridge crossed, getting the okay to record Raiders of the Lost Ark was easy.
I practiced reading aloud from the Young Indy novels, like the very politically incorrect Young Indiana Jones & the Gypsy Revenge, and loved them. Oh, the joys of homeschooling. Sad books, like Where the Red Fern Grows, weren’t part of the curriculum in my house. Thank goodness! My mind was already primed to love Raiders, and so I did.
Dad liked it too, truth be told.
We spread the three movies out over three years, taping them when they were on TV and watching them on Super Bowl Sunday when there was nothing else on. Later we got the box set of DVDs for Christmas, no problem. I’d just finished up college when Kingdom of the Crystal Skull came out. Man, 2008 was a great year for movies. There were so many jokes at the time about Ford being too old for the role, it’s crazy to think that all these years later he’s come back again.
I saw Crystal Skull in the theater with a girl I was crazy about. We shared a Wild Cherry Pepsi. I haven’t watched it since.
Last night the trailer for Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny dropped. Hopefully he’s not searching for a bar of golden soap. I watched it as soon as I saw it was available and I have thoughts. Given the rumors coming out of Disney, we all know the movie will be terrible. The old man will be showed up by a young woman, with just just enough and fondness to put tears in our eyes as he’s finally put out to pasture.
So it goes.
In a way, the trailer reminds me of advertising for Ghostbusters: Afterlife, the way it dusts off an old IP and tugs at our heartstrings. The way it introduces a new generation to take on the mantle. The way it sells nostalgia and little else. We can already see how contrived it’ll be. “I don’t believe in magic,” Ford snarls. Well, if anyone should it’s Indiana Jones, and the only reason he doesn’t is because the movie needs him not to.
Spoiler: There will be magic.
Every sequel must replace established male characters with women. We saw it in Logan, we’re seeing it in the MCU and Star Wars, it was even implied at the end of last Christmas’s The Green Knight. I’m all for dynamic women in movies. I’m tired of recycling ideas. James Mangold is a solid director, Ford still has a commanding presence, I’ve got nothing against Phoebe Waller-Bridge, and Mads Mikkelson always makes a good bad guy. If only they were making a movie that wasn’t so lazy and driven by agenda.
Aside from the people making it, does anyone want this movie?
A lot of people will make a lot of money critiquing and complaining about it. The people who hate it most probably have the most to gain, so sure, they can hardly wait. Please ignore them. Disney will make money, regardless. But there’s a void for new characters and adventures, and it’s growing. A vacuum must be filled.
Let’s get in on the ground level of fresh ideas and not worry about what’s withering on the vine.