Sometimes it seems that I’ve forgotten how to relax and enjoy myself. Doing hard things is good for us, yes, but we also need to refresh ourselves every once in a while. I am a hard worker (if I do say so myself), but I’m not productive. Which makes resting that much more difficult. Okay, so I got up before the sun, wrote in my journal, read my Bible, went for a walk in the cold, lifted some weights, started laundry, cleaned the litter boxes, wrote a review, listed some junk on eBay, and followed up on some important emails. All before breakfast.
What should I do next?
I won’t bore you with my long list of things I need to do. Most of those things have waited for a long time, anyway. In my quote-unquote “downtime” I usually find myself wondering what book I should read, what movie I should watch. If it’s something I enjoyed in the past I tend to think it’s off-limits. No, whatever I read or watch must be good for me, like a hard workout or vegetables. If I can’t use it to grow either myself or my bank account, why bother?
Next thing I know, I’m killing time with stupid YouTube videos and social media. Oh hey, look at Katina eating a pizza that’s as long as she is tall!
It seems to me that my short bursts of focused productivity need to be balanced with short bursts of focused rest. And the six to seven hours of sleep I get every night (cats willing) aren’t enough. The hour I spend scrolling picture galleries while Mom watches TV before bed every night are close, but not quite.
There’s no rest in constant focus shifting. It’s gotta be all or nothing, like sleeping. You either are, or you aren’t.
I’m still working on that. You don’t want to know how many articles I’ve read or Tweets I’ve responded to while writing this. If I’m really going to watch a movie I have to put my phone across the room. But this weekend I have started trying to relax a little and return to the familiar. By indulging (is that even the right word) in things I know and enjoy, and know that I enjoy, I hope to do better with completing the tasks that are required of me.