While I would gladly sit down and rewatch some superhero movies, this current batch just don’t interest me. What more can they do or say that hasn’t already been done or said to death by now? But like the heroes themselves, done to death is just an excuse for a reboot. So as long as the audience is still there, Hollywood will keep rearranging the same ingredients in different ways and proportions, telling us it’s something new.
Basically, it’s Taco Bell.
That said, Black Adam had me a little curious. Now, you all know I’m a Marvel guy and have been since long before the movies. Those Silver Age Spider-Man comics are some of my favorites, and as they do, they introduced me all the Marvel characters. The DC characters, like Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, etc. just didn’t have the human elements I wanted. I tried to like them, oh I tried.
The DC movies haven’t changed anything.
Still, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is one of the last movie stars. Not even I am immune to Hollywood glamor. From the trailers and word of mouth, Black Adam seemed more appealing than anything the MCU has offered this year. So when it showed up on HBO Max and I had an early morning to myself (thanks, cat, for waking me up), I figured why not? If nothing else, I’d have another title to add to the list of new movies I’ve seen this year.
And you know what? It’s not half bad.
The story opens 5,000 years ago in an imaginary country. An evil king forces his people to mine for an imaginary mineral that gives super powers, and a kid steals it. A group of wizards use him and it to make Earth’s first superhero, but when this "hero" proves himself unworthy they lock him in a tomb. Now in present day, a Lara Croft-esque mom opens it up. Turns out, this dude is still uber-powerful and still not a hero. And still very, very angry.
Better call in the Justice Society.
The planet’s protectors don’t like this guy, but the residents of his country have been waiting for their savior for a long time and are happy to see him. Now we have our conflict: good guys vs. bad guy vs. innocents. Who is the Justice Society? Don’t worry about it if you haven’t read their comics, or even ever heard of them before. These characters are some of Taco Bell menu items I mentioned earlier, with clear analogs to characters you probably do know.
It’s all so derivative. And not just comic book heroes and their movies.
Within the first hour I saw parallels to Tomb Raider, Back to the Future, and Terminator 2: Judgement Day, among others. It might be fun to sit down with a bunch of friends and identify every blatant ripoff. Yet, just like Taco Bell, it’s satisfying. In a way. And unlike so many new movies, it doesn’t come with a side of woke. Now that I think about it, there’s not even an environmentalist message.
Imagine going to Taco Bell and getting free brussel sprouts with your chalupa.
No female character is built up at the expense of emasculating a male. It’s equal opportunity awesome all around. Their interactions are heartfelt, neither snarky nor forced (looking at you, Joss Whedon). If you want to get conspiracy theory-ish, though, there’s plenty of material. Otherworldly watchers giving power to certain people? Check. Shadowy, one-world government agency? Of course! People holding their hands over their heads in a triangle, ala Aleister Crowley, to summon their god, who fights a demon with a pentagram on his chest? Uh, move along. Nothing to see here!
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Well, I guess we take the good with the bad. In the good column, besides not being woke, I’ll say that the visuals are stunning, the score is fantastic, and Pierce Brosnan is excellent. In the bad column I’ll add that muting The Rock’s charisma is a poor choice, third-act surprise villain needed more setup, and the zombies (yes, zombies) seem like an afterthought just to give the humans something to hit.
Will I watch Black Adam again? Eh, probably not. With the entire DC universe set for yet another reset, it’s not as if it will warrant a rewatch just to refresh for the next one. But I may listen to the soundtrack some more. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m craving some Taco Bell.